Of Wands and Scrolls
by Mama san Saki
Summary: Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Neji, Anko, Kakashi, Jiraiya and Anko's sister are sent to Hogwarts on a mission! Please read and review! Oh yeah. Kakashi and Anko are a bit OOC... and teachers get put into houses. So there. Hah. Set after time skip.
1. A New Mssion!

"Yo."

"YOU'RE LATE!"

"Aha, sorry about that. You see I..."

"IT'S A LIE!!!!"

"Alright, hold on..." Kakashi begun, "You haven't let me finish yet."

"BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR LAME-ASS EXCUSES!" Naruto and Sakura chorused.

"Anyway..." Kakashi started again. "There was this cat stuck up a tree, and..." He rambled on.

Naruto sweatdropped. "H...He's just completely ignoring us."

"Ahahahahaha! No, seriously, the real reason I was late is because I was talking to Tsunade and..."

"Sama."

"Hmm?"

"That's Tsunade-sama to you." Sakura glared at her former sensei, a kind of glare that would stop even the scariest monster in it's tracks. But Kakashi was used to it by now so...

"Yeah." Kakashi said seemingly unfazed. That was the thing about Kakashi, you could never tell what he was thinking...because of that stupid mask of his. Someone should burn that mask...anyway...

"You guys have a mission." The duo moved closer.

"Yeeeesss?" Naruto asked, his curiousity taking over.

"Yeah.Yup, you two have a mission."

"About?"

"About? Well, all I know that it's long-term, and that you'll be working with Neji.."

"Oh." Naruto gave a disheartened sigh. "I would rather work with Hinata-chan..."

"Anko...and myself."

"Anko... AAH! YOU MEAN THAT CRAZY-PURPLE-HAIRED-BLOOD-LOVING-VAMPIRE FROM THE CHUUNIN EXAMS!?!?!?!?"

Kakashi pondered a while. "...Yeah, that sounds like her. Anyway, you need to be in the Hokage tower by 10 o'clock."

Sakura looked at her brand new Gucci watch which she spent, like, YEARS savng up for. "...It's 1:00."

"Oh. Better hurry then!" Kakashi said, giving that 'u' smile thing that he always does, and then promptly poofed away.

"...One day..." Sakura muttered, "I'll burn all his Icha-Icha books." A slightly evil smile creeped up on Sakura's face. Just then, Naruto, who had been unusually quiet up until now, decided to speak up.

"Oi, Sakura-chan?"

"Hm?" Sakura grunted.

"Don't you think Kaka-sensei's acting a bit...OOC(Out Of Character)?"

"Really? in what way?"

"Well, I dunno. He just seems...more hyper than usual."

"Oh.Well, I didn't notice. C'mon, we're late." the pink-haired girl replied beore jumping towards the hokage tower.


	2. Place Your Bets!

"Oh really?" Kakashi raised a brow.

"Yes, I believe so." Anko smirked.

"Well then," Kakashi looked up at the ceiling "I say 10,000 yen (1) Naruto will be one of the last to get a detention."

"Seriously?" both Tsunade and Anko chorused. A sceptical look crossed their faces.

"Why, yes, yes I do. To be exact, I think that Sakura will be my first."

"**Your** first?"

"Aha...the first...to get a detention."

"But why ever Sakura? In all the years she's been my apprentice, I've come to know her as a very obedient girl."

"Yes, but you might find the odd person staring at her strangely and asking her if her hair colour is real...and she is known for having quite a bad temper."

"Hmm..." Tsunade mused...Yeah, I know. 'Hmm' isn't much of a muse.

"...Possibly even worse than you do." Kakashi said to himself.

"My ears pick up everything you know. I'll advise you not to say anything that could possibly get you fired." Tsunade glared at her employee.

"Aha, of course, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi smiled. '_See? Proves my point__. Though, maybe I'm a bit too happy. I've been getting a lot of glares lately. Even from that freaky grinning cat. '_

"Still," Anko began, "I don't believe you should be putting all your faith into Naruto. I mean...Well he's an idiot isn't he? I'll meet your raise anyway. It won't do me any harm, I'm pretty sure you'll lose."

"Hey, don't be mean." Kakashi said, taking out his 'icha icha' book. Anko and Tsunade both sweatdropped.

"To be honest, I'm surprised he didn't take it out earlier." Anko whispered to Tsunade, taking out some dango.

Tsunade sweatdropped at this action. "Oh well." she started. "Let's all indulge in our addictions."She said, reaching for a bottle of sake underneath her desk.

"So...What do you think this Dumbledore guy is like anyway?"Anko inquired.

"Beats me. I've only communicated to him through writing." Tsunade stated.

"Well, he's probably an oji-san (2) anyway." Kakashi stated.

"Oh? How come?" Tsunade asked.

"Well, if you look at most of the names of people in Britain, they're all called 'Peter' or 'Simon' or...'Bob'...or something. You don't hear things like 'Hi, I'm Albus Dumbledor' nowadays, do you?"

Just then, the three heard a loud sneeze (3), followed by a puff of smoke. There in the middle of the room stood a man. It wasn't just any kind of man, though; it was...a strange man.

He was dressed in a flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet (4), and a matching pointy hat...Yeah, that's right. A BIG EFFING POINTY HAT!...ahem Anywhoo...

He wore on his chin(5) a long, white beard and resting on his nose was a pair of glasses, and there was a slight twinkle in his eye too. Sorry, just thought I'd mention that.

Behind him stood a black clad lady wearing...well black. Her dress was black and...Well she looked...just black really.

The man sneezed again.

"...A...bit...chilly out there?" Kakashi said. Anko laughed quietly.

Dumbledore said, with not a tinge of sarcasm in his voice "Quite the contrary, actually. I don't know how you cope with the heat here." The room went silent for a while. Kakashi gave Anko a look that said 'Told you he was old.'

'What the heck is he wearing anyway?' Anko looked back.

'Heh, it seems to be a flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet.'

'Know it all.'

'And...Are those high-heels?'

'What? Where?' Anko looked down.

'On his feet, dumbass.'

'Hey, I heard...saw that!'

'Bet you 1,000 he's queer.'

'Aah, I think he's one of those guys that seem really gay, you know, the perfect manicure, the feminine features, but isn't really.'

'Hmm.'

'A bit like you, really.'

'NAN DA YO!?' Kakashi looked.

'It's true, you look like a woman. You look like a spiky-haired, extremely flat-chested woman. Bet you that's why you wear that mask of yours, isn't it?'

'Oh...just...shut up.' Kakashi glared at Anko.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore gave McGonnagal a look that said 'Look, they're magically communicating with their eyes! I wish I could do that.' Minerva slapped her forehead in disbelief. 'How ironic' she thought.

Dumbledore was the first to break the silence. "Oh! How rude of me. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Albus Dumbledore. I am the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is Minerva McGonnagal, a teacher at the school."

"Pleased to meet you all." Minerva nodded her head.

"Nice to meet you to." Tsunade smiled. "I am Tsunade, Hokage of Hidden Village of Leaf. These two..." she motioned to the two jounin. "...Are the highly qualified jounin that will be going undercover as teachers in your school."

"Hatake Kakashi." Kakashi introduced himself. "How do you do. Oh, and this..." He said pointing to Anko,"...is Mitarashi Dango(6)..." Anko lightly elbowed Kakashi in the side.

"Mitarashi ANKO." She smiled fakely.

"She prefers to be called 'She-man', though." Kakashi elbowed her back.

"Asshole.." Anko muttered. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Ah, so they're finally here." Kakashi said. The door creaked open to reveal…Jiraiya.

"Oh. It's only you." Kakashi sighed.

"Well nice to see you too." Jiraiya said sarcastically.

"Oh," Tsunade started, " This is Jiraiya, one of the people who will be gathering information outside the school."

"Pleased to meet ya!" Jiraiya vigorously shook Dumbledore's hand. "While you're in Konoha, why don't you buy 'Icha-Icha Paradise!" Jiraiya waved the book in front of Dumbledore's face. "It's a number 1 bestseller! You tell 'em, my #1 fan!" He yelled, pointing at Kakashi. Kakashi grimaced, not that you could see it behind that mask of his.

"I am not your number 1 fan." Kakashi said bluntly. "Just because I like the book, doesn't necessarily mean I like you." Kakashi smiled. Jiraiya winced.

"Ouch." He began, "Do you want your kunai back or should I leave it in my heart?"

"Keep the knife, I have no use for it." Kakashi said, returning to his book.

"Anywhoo, There is one more person working with Jiraiya."

"Oh really? Who?"

"Mitarashi's sister, Misaki." Tsunade replied.

"Oh! You have a sister?" Jiraiya asked Anko.

"Yes. She is a very skilled, high ranking jounin, but then again, being on the same level as Kakashi, she can't be that good." Anko replied.

"Oh, the girl who is nothing like you, except for her purple hair and her love of dango? I like her." Kakashi smiled, completely ignoring Anko's previous comment. Anko gave Kakashi a 'WTF?' look.

"What? Aah, no! Not like that! I mean that's she's nice, pleasant, which is nothing like you." Kakashi retorted. Anko scowled.

"How come I haven't met her?" Jiraiya asked, looking puzzled.

"She's been busy lately, around the world, helping these random pirates find the treasure in the 'Big Line'(7), something like that." Anko shrugged.

"I'm afraid you will not be able to meet her today." Tsunade turned to the 'Brits' as the villagers called them, "She's a bit busy today. But I assure you, we've provided only the best shinobi for the job.

There was then another knock on the door.

"Come in." Tsunade called. The door creaked open again. But this time it wasn't Jiraiya...(Well obviously, I mean, he was already in the room) Naruto and Sakura walked through the door, followed by Lee and Neji. The first thing they saw was a man...A strange man with a unique fashion sense.

"Genin, this is our client, Albus Dumbledor, Headmaster of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and wizardry, and Minerva McGonagall."

"Hajimemashite (8)." They all said drearily, bowing. Dumbledor, deciding to go with the flow, bowed politely, saying, "How do you do," while McGonagall, feeling a little awkward, just nodded her head.

The Genin introduced themselves.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"Haruno Sakura."

"Rock Lee."

"Hyuuga Neji."

"I'll let them explain the mission brief." Tsunade continued.

"Thankyou. For years there has been an extremely powerful, evil wizard called Tom Riddle, though now he goes by the name 'Voldermort'. He is a threat to the school, and this boy in particular." He said, holding up a picture of a dark, messy-haired boy with green eyes, glasses and a scar on his forehead. "Harry Potter."

"Your job," Minerva began, "Is to pose as foreign exchange students to protect this boy and the school. Don't give yourself away, and please refrain from using any of your own magic during the mission. And be careful. There have been rumours circulating that Voldermort is doing business with a certain organisation we know nothing about. We would also like you to investigate that."

"...Which is what team Jiraiya is for." Tsunade stated. "Any questions?"

"Well, I have one, about this magic thing." Sakura began. "What exactly is it? And we're ninja. How exactly are we going to fit in? We no nothing about how to use it."

"That is indeed an intelligent question. Magic is basically like the 'jutsus' you use, but while you focus energy through hand signs, we use wands to channel ours." Dumbledor replied.

"Oh, I see."

"Once you are in England, you will be taught how to do basic spells properly. Oh, and you also will have to learn some basic potions as well." Tsunade stated.

"Oh man.." Naruto groaned.

"How long do we have to learn everything?" Lee asked.

"Oh, I dunno, about, one week?"

"**ONE WEEK!?"**

"Oh, come on, guys. You shinobi soak up information like a sponge, and it's really not as difficult as it sounds." Tsunade reassured the genin.

"Uugh..." Naruto put his hand up. "I have another question." He grinned sheepishly.

"How exactly do we...get there?" his question sounded stupid, but really, that was the question in everyone's minds.

"Don't worry," Dumbledor smiled, "I have the plane tickets right here."

"**PLANE TICKETS?!?!?!?!?!" **Everyone in the room sweatdropped.

"Why, yes. Plane tickets. I decided that since school wouldn't have started by the time you arrive, we won't send you straight to the school, so you can relax, have a bit of a holiday (vacation if you're American) before you begin the mission.

Everyone sweatdropped again.

"Oh..." Kakashi began, "...How...nice...of you..."

"Anyway, I wish you all the best. Be ready by 8 o'clock at the airport. Don't pack much, you're going to be wearing school uniform most of the time. Anyways, best be off. 'Fraid I'm a bit busy today." Dumbledor said rather quickly. "Toodles!" he said, before disappearing with McGonagall in a puff of smoke, leaving the room silent.

"So," Anko began, "What do you think?" She said, turning to Kakashi.

"Meh, I dunno. He's a bit too...happy, for my liking." Kakashi stated, putting on a blank expression.

"But..." Naruto began, "...I'm happy..." Naruto had a sad, chibi-like face on.

"Eugh," Kakashi tensed._ 'Damn, what's with that face?'_ "You're different though. You're not annoying...Well you are annoying, but..."

'_**Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit'**_Kakashi thought.

"Eh, it's different with you, though. Everyone likes you."

"Reeeaaally?" Naruto asked. Kakashi sweatdropped.

"Um...Yes. Really." Kakashi responded.

"Okay!" Naruto chirped.

'_...WTF?'_Kakashi thought.

* * *

**A/N: (1) 10,00yen is about £50.**

**(2)an oji-san is an old man. **

**(3)In Japan, if you sneeze for no raeson, then someone's talking about you.  
**

**(4)Yeah, I know it's a direct quote from the book so no flames!...not sure if anyone noticed**...**way to dig yourself a gave, Bi-chan.**

**(5)For Dango's sake, I know you dont wear stuff on your chin, it's called Creative License!**

**(6)Dango is Anko's fav food, and Mitarashi is a type of dango.**

**(7) Yeah, I put Anko's sister in One Piece (Strangely, it contains 2 words). **

**(8) Hajimemashite basically means How do you do, or Pleased to meet you.**


	3. Stupid Cat

Ch3 – Stupid Cat.

It was 5 o'clock in the morning. Sakura hadn't slept all night. '_How strange.' _She thought. _'Why can't I sleep? There's absolutely nothing going on in my life to lose sleep over.' _The reoccurring dreams about Sasuke had stopped awhile ago. She had gotten used to the lack of his presence._ 'Just for once,' _she thought_, 'everything's going dandy.' _ Well since it made no sense lying around doing and thinking absolutely nothing, she decided to head to the meeting place early.

Sakura made herself some coffee. She would've had something else to eat, but she wasn't that hungry either. She made her way to the bridge as slowly as possible.

Sakura had barely made it past Ichiraku's when she heard a soft voice calling out.

"Excuse me, young lady." Sakura whipped her head around. There stood...There bent a tired-looking old woman. Sakura sauntered over to her to see what happened to be the problem.

"I was just doing an early shop and the bags are weighing me down a bit. Could you possibly help me get back home?"

Sakura smiled fakely. Inner Sakura sweatdropped.

"**Shopping? At this time? Are the shops even open?"**

"Of course!" Sakura said, bending down to take her bags. At least it was something to do. It was irritating though, waiting for her to catch up. Sakura could have sworn she was doing it on purpose.

Sakura began walking again. She had been walking for five minutes, when a black cat came out of the bushes, and began to walk right in front of her feet. Now, Sakura didn't care much for superstition, but just as she was about to continue on, the cat leaped in front of her. It then looked up at her and...

It smiled.

The cat was grinning at her.

'I...I swear...cat's aren't supposed to grin.' Sakura thought. She looked around for an exit, and seeing one she quickly dashed to her right. She ran for about five minutes, before slowing down to a walking pace quite sure that the cat wasn't following. After all, she was running pretty darn fast.

"Damn, that's a freaky cat." She said to herself. She had come to a long, winding road, surrounded by a plethora of different plant life. It was actually quite pleasant. The smell and colour of the flowers, the bird's chirping in the background, everything seemed so...serene.

Just then...she heard a soft, mewing sound coming from above. Sakura stopped dead in her tracks. She shivered. She was familiar with that sound.

"Damn, I guess I didn't lose it after all." She whispered. Slowly she looked up. She sighed, after seeing where the sound was coming from. Yes, it was a cat. But this one was bright orange and red, with big, bright green eyes... And it was stuck up a tree.

"Stupid cat." she smiled before walking up to the tree. "Don't worry; I'm coming to get you down from there!" She shouted up to the cat, sounding a bit like a hostage negotiator. She climbed up the tree, and rescued the cat with ease. She was beaming for a couple of minutes, at the fact that she was actually able to do something useful. As she walked on, it took her a couple of minutes to realise that the cat was following her.

She smiled and kneeled down. "You can go home now."

"Nyaa." The cat remained.

Sakura tried again.

"I'm sure you have a home to go to, Don't you?"

"Nyaa."

'Let's try again.' Sakura was getting irritated.

"**Kick it away! Kick it away! Kick it away!"** Inner Sakura chanted.

"Your owners will get worried if they find you are missing, won't they?"

The cat still remained.

"I'm serious. **Go away.**"

It didn't work. Sakura tried scaring it away by stomping her feet, but to no avail.

Sakura eventually gave up, and decided to keep walking. All of a sudden, she realised that she was lost.

"Wah, where the heck am I?" She cried. The cat then jumped in front of her.

"Nyaa..." The cat ran on, stopping for a brief moment, and then looking back, as if beckoning Sakura to follow it. She decided she would, after all, she had nothing to lose.

She had been following the cat for a while now, and decided to give it a name.

'Hmm...How about...Jinja? No, that name doesn't suit a cat with such bright colours.' Sakura tried a number of other names, and, giving up; she decided to go for her original suggestion.

After walking for about ten more minutes, Sakura spotted a sign. 'Yes! Now at least I know where I am.' Sakura strained her eyes to read what it said, but it was to far away. She then sprinted towards the sign then stopped right in front of it. The sign was very dusty, so she gently brushed the dust away to read what it said.

"S...Seimei (1)." Sakura froze.

"_Sorry I'm late, I was helping and old lady cross the street."_

Her face went pale.

"_Sorry I'm late; a black cat crossed my path..."_

Her eyes glazed over.

"_...so I had to take the __**LONGER, more WINDING **__route."_

Her jaw hit the floor.

"_I saw a cat stuck up __a tree, and I felt obliged to rescue it."_

"Maybe," Sakura whispered.

"_Sorry I'm late; I got lost on the road of life."_

"**HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH!"**

Sakura had finally reached the bridge, after all that time. She sat down on the railing **(A/N: What do you call the wooden bit by the bridge?)**, and Jinja jumped up onto her lap. She was surprised that a cat could jump that high, but then again, being in Konoha, it was a _Ninja_ neko.

Sakura laughed. ''Ninja Neko'. Sounds like one of those American pants (underwear if your American)-over-tights superheroes.'

"Sakura- chaaaannnnn!" That voice could belong to none other than Naruto.

"Ohayo, Naruto."

"Hey, it's a cat!"

"Wow, you don't say, Naruto."

"What have you decided to name it?"

"I haven't quite decided that yet, Naruto."

"I think you should name it Naruto Jr.!"

"Err...No."

"Hey! Neji, Fuzzybrows!" Naruto called out to the two, after spotting them, that is.

"Ohayo, Naruto-kun, Sakura-san! How are you this youthful morning?" Lee asked.

"Err...fine thanks." Sakura replied. "A bit tired though."

"Oh, is that so, Sakura. Well, I hope you get plenty of youthful sleep in the youthful future. Aw, what a youthful cat!"

"Yeah! It's called Naruto Jr.!"

"Ugh...Naruto-kun..." Sakura groaned.

"Ohayo, Naruto, Sakura." Neji said.

"Oi, Neji, I heard Hinata-chan's not feeling too well." Naruto said, worriedly.

"Yeah, she has a bit of a cold. You better not go anywhere near her. You'll contaminate her with even more germs."

"Uh, in case you haven't realised it yet, we're about to fly to England, so your statement has no logic behind it." Naruto retorted.

"Whoa, Neji and Naruto seem to have switched roles!" Lee said, seemingly amazed.

"Wait a sec, do colds even last that long?"

"Oh wait, Naruto's back." Sakura said.

"Hey, everybody!"

"Anko-sensei!!" Everyone but Neji beamed.

"Hoi! Cute cat, Sakura!"

"Yeah, I know! It's called Na-"

"Naruto! Urusai!"

"Why, hello everyone!"

"Oh. Hi Jiraiya." The group mumbled.

"Cute cat...AAHHH! IT BIT ME!!"  
"Where did you find it at?" Anko asked.

"It's been following me ever since I rescued it."

"Rescued it?" both Naruto and Lee chorused.

"I found it stuck up a tree..."

"Ah..."

"When I got lost..."

"Hmm?"

"...On the road of life."

"...Wait, THAT road of life?" Anko asked. Sakura simply nodded her head.

"No way. The day such a road exists is the same day Kaka-sensei is on time for a change!" Naruto yelled.

"Yo." Came a voice from behind.

The group turned around slowly, to find Kakashi, with a slightly ticked off expression on his face.

"GAH!" The group chorused.

"Kaka-sensei..." Sakura whispered.

"You're..." Anko muttered.

"EARLY!?" Naruto yelled. The whole village echoed.

"Naruto-no-baka (2)! Don't be so loud!" Sakura hissed.

"Well, you can't be late for a flight, now, can you?" Kakashi said. But something else was wrong. His voice was clearer now. Still deep and slightly slurred, but just a little bit clearer now.

Naruto was the first to spot the change.

"KAKA-SENSEI!"

"Yeah."

"YOU!"

"Uhuh."

"YOUR!"

"Yup."

YOUR..."

"Mmhm."

"Y..."

"I know."

"YOUR FACE!"

"Yeah."

"There's something wrong with it!"

"Hmm..I wonder." It finally struck the shinobi.

"**WHERE THE HECK IS YOUR MASK!?!?!?"**

"Hmm? You want me to put it back on-"

"**NO!"**

"Uh, okay."

The shinobi stared for a while. His face was just...beautiful.

'_Skin...flawless...I'm a bit jealous.' _Sakura thought.

"_**Yeah, well don't go fallin' in love with him now, 'kay? It'll cause me trouble if I'm caught in the middle of this 'teacher-student-forbidden-love' thing." **_Inner Sakura said.

'_Shut up.' _

'_Whoa,' Lee thought. 'I didn't know boys could be so pretty...AND YOUTHFUL!!'_

'_Hey,' Jiraiya thought. 'This face has given me inspiration to right a new book!'_

'_...I think I'm gay...' _Naruto thought.

'_I'm prettier than that.' Neji thought._

All of a sudden, Jinja leapt from Sakura's lap into Kakashi's arms.

"Oh, Kaji. Did you get stuck up a tree again? Stupid cat."

Sakura just stared.

"Sakura, What's wrong?" Kakashi asked. "Do I not seem like a cat person?"

'_No acctually, you don't._ _Bright red and orange. Kaji. Fire. It's an ingenious name.'_

"Why didn't I think of that before?"

* * *

**A/N: (1) Seimei means 'life', So basically, Sakura had gotten lost on the road of life herself.**

**(2) Sakura's basically calling Naruto an idiot. **


	4. The flight

**A/N:**** Hey guys! enjoy!**

"Talking english"

_"Talking Japanese"_

_**"**_**Inner Sakura talking."**

Chapter 4 -** The Flight**

It was 6:45am, and in getting to Narita Airport, the shinobi decided to change into something a little less...conspicuous.

Sakura had on a light pink t-shirt with the words 'SAY NO TO EMO' on the back, with beige ¾ length trousers. Naruto wore a black t-shirt with a red swirl on the back (Sakura said she would kill him if she saw anything orange.) and ordinary jeans. Neji was wearing a plain white t-shirt and black baggy trousers. Anko decided to wear her usual trench coat, but instead of her skirt, she was wearing black jeans. Kakashi was just wearing a black shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, jeans, and trainers. He also had a black eye patch, which was covered by his hair, and since they had met up at the bridge, none of the shinobi had been able to take their eyes off him, that is, until Jiraiya showed up in his bright red shirt, top button undone.

Sakura was on the verge of falling asleep, when...

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto prodded Sakura lightly.

"What?" she snapped.

"Geez, Sakura," Naruto put his hands up in mock defence. "I just wanted to ask you something."

"Uh, oh, sorry," Sakura lowered her head. "I didn't sleep at all last night, so I'm a bit cranky."

"Oh, don't worry, it's okay!" Naruto gave a cheesy grin.

"And if you're sleepy now, then you probably won't have jetlag when we get to England." Kakashi stated.

"Sakura-chan, what's jetlag?" Naruto asked.

"Well, the time in England is not the same time in Japan and our biological clock has gotten used to Japan's time, so while it's, say, 3pm for the Brits, it's midnight for us, so, we'd be sleepy." Sakura yawned.

"Oh, I get it now! You've missed a night's sleep, so you're already in time with England!"

"Precisely." Sakura smiled. She had to admit, he wasn't as idiotic now as he used to be. "Oh yeah, Naruto-kun, what did you want to ask me?"

"Mm, well, I was just wondering if you knew anything about this...flying thing."

"Eh, sorry, I've never been flying before, so I don't know." Sakura said.

"Well, Kakashi seems to know a bit about flying," Lee butted in, "Maybe his youthfulness might know something. Why doesn't someone ask him?"

"I vote Sakura." Neji said.

"Me too." The rest of the chuunin agreed.

"Fine then." Sakura frowned.

"Kakashi-sensei."

"Hmm?"Kakashi's eyes remained fixed to his book.

"You've been flying before, riiight?"

"Yeees?" Kakashi mimicked.

"Well...I was just wondering...What's it like...to fly?"

Kakashi turned away from his book and looked at Sakura. He was laughing, but hid it well.

"What's it like to fly?" Kakashi repeated in an unusually high voice.

"W...Well, y'know, is it...um...well...fun?"

"F...fun?" He said, in an even higher voice. He stared at her for a few seconds, and then eventually he cracked up. Everyone sweatdropped. _'Was what I said really that funny?'_ Sakura thought.

"**Face it, Sakura; you're in love with a nut job."**Sakura's inner butted in.

'_I am not in love with Kakashi-sensei!'_

"**You can't lie to me. I'm you, remember?"**

'_Shut up!'_

"**Hey, you know what?"**

'_What?'_

"**I think this is the first time we've ever seen him laugh."**

'_Oh yeah! Now that I think about it.'_

Kakashi's maniacal laughter had finally died down. "Sorry, that's just one of the strangest questions I've ever heard. I suppose flying is fun..." The younger shinobi's faces brightened at this statement, but then he continued, "...That is, if you like sitting in one place for hours doing nothing upon hearing that your flight's been delayed, then spending 11 hours eating rubbish food in economy, when you know you paid for first class and there's always one jackass who just won't leave you alone when you just want them to bugger off, then there's customs, people raiding through your luggage-" Kakashi stopped himself, realising that he was scaring the chuunin.

"Eh, but we're in first class, so it'll be fine."

"They raid through our things?" Sakura had a worried face on.

"Well, more like checking-"

"Are they gonna read my diary?" Sakura asked in a small voice.

"No, they're not gonna-"

"They are gonna read my diary!" Sakura whispered.

"Sakura," he sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking it. "It's a check for weapons and drugs. They're not gonna read your diary."

"Oh...heehee, sorry."

'_Sooo handsome...'_ Sakura thought.

"Oi, Kaka-sensei, why are we just standing here doing nothing?" Naruto asked.

"We are waiting for someone." Anko said.

"Oh really? Who?"

"Mitarashi's sexy sister." Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.

"Ahou (idiot)."Anko muttered.

"Eh? Anko has a sister? How come we've never seen her?"

"'Cause she's been sailing around the world getting rich in a pirate ship."Kakashi stated bluntly.

"Rich?" They heard a voice coming from behind them.

They turned around to find a lady with wavy purple hair, with a side fringe, and bright green eyes, flawless complexion and perfect, red lips, wearing a black punk Lolita t-shirt, a black pleated mini skirt, black and white striped tights and black boots.

"Why, yes, I suppose I am rich!"She grinned.

'_This is Anko's sister? Wow, what amazing fashion sense.__ Black.' _Sakura thought.

'_Wow...She's really pretty.' _Lee thought.

'_She's prettier than Sakura. She better not really be a man, like Haku.' _Naruto thought.

'_...I'm prettier than that too.'_ Neji thought.

"Well hello there," Jiraiya said, taking her hand in his two, "You must be Misaki. It's very nice to meet you, I'm-'

"Jiraiya, right? Tsunade mentioned you specifically."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. She told me to watch out for rotten perverts like you." She smiled, walking past him to greet the others.

'_I just decided I really like her.'_ Naruto and Sakura thought. Jiraiya didn't take offence to this comment though; he thought she was just playing hard-to-get.

"Pleased to meet you, everyone. My name is Mitarashi Misaki." She said politely, bowing. "Now let's see, you're Sakura, aren't you?"

"Aah, Yes! That's me."

"I'm friends with your parents. I love your hair, by the way." Misaki smiled.

"Oh, thank you!" Sakura replied.

"**She's so nice!**** I like her already!"**

"And you're Neji." She said turning to Neji, who just gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"And here," She looked at Lee, "It appears Gai-san has accidentally fallen into a shrinking machine."

Sakura and Naruto laughed.

"So that means you're Naruto." She shook Naruto's hand.

"Heh, you're really funny lady..." Naruto began. "...Uh, you _are_ a lady, aren't you?" Misaki raised an eyebrow.

"Why? Do I not look like a woman?"

"Uh, No! You do! It's just that, all of the super-pretty girls I know...turn out to be boys."

"And I'm one of those super-pretty girls?" Misaki offered.

"Well, yeah." Naruto shuffled around slightly. Misaki giggled.

"Ehehe, that's really sweet."

'_Her laugh's really cute too...' _Sakura thought.

"Come to think of it..." Naruto began, "He is too." He said pointing at Kakashi.

"Gee, thanks Naruto, I'm flattered." Kakashi said sarcastically.

Misaki looked up at Kakashi. Her eyes widened. "Ka..."

"...Yo." He said.

"Kanaoshi? (No face?)" Misaki said.

'_What? Kanaoshi?' _was the thought in everyone's heads.

"Err, yup, that's me." He replied.

Misaki gasped. "Whoooaaa! You actually **HAVE** a face! And a gorgeous one at that." Misaki commented.

"Ehehe...Just for the mission." Kakashi laughed.

'_WTF is with that laugh? And wait a sec...Is it just me or...is Kaka-sensei blushing?'_ Sakura thought.

"Anyway, shall we proceed?" Misaki asked.

"Yeah, let's go already!" Anko said.

They had come to a desk and a woman who had asked for their passports and boarding passes, which Kakashi had handed to her. After examining their passports, the woman asked Kakashi, "Are these your children, ma'am?" Kakashi gave the lady a 'wtf?' look and opened his mouth to say something, before Anko butted in.

"No." Anko replied bluntly.

"In that case," the lady said, turning back to Kakashi. "Are you then authorised to take these children on board, ma'am?" Kakashi, who was getting slightly irritated now, opened his mouth to say something else, but then Misaki butted in. "Yes." She smiled. The lady turned back to Kakashi. "An on what occasion, Ma'am?"

"Look," He began. "I don't know what kind of joke this is, but if you look on my passport, you will see that I am MALE. I was born male. I am NOT a girl, I never was a girl, and I certainly don't intend on ever becoming, a girl. Okay?"

The lady stared at Kakashi wide-eyed. "I...s...She's a guy?" And with that, she completely collapsed.

"Oh, you have got to be effing kidding me."

"Kaka-sensei, what do we do now?" Sakura asked.

"Uh...Take your passes and run while no one's looking!"

After a few minutes, they had come to a gate with a conveyor belt next to it. "Okay guys," Kakashi began, "just take your shoes and hand-baggage off, as well as any metal objects you have on, put it in the trays, and then just walk through the gate." Which is exactly what they did. As Kakashi was putting his shoes back on, a rather muscelly (sp?) man walked up to him._ 'sigh_ _There's always one' _Kakashi thought. "Excuse me, can you bend over please?" The man asked, putting on a latex glove. Kakashi looked at the man sideways, and remained like that for a few seconds, before turning his head slightly to face him, and raising one eyebrow. "Why? You think I shoved a pair of scissors up my ass?" Kakashi retorted. "I'm not that masochistic." _'Or am I?'_ Kakashi thought.

"Whoa, lady, you have one deep voice." The man moved in closer. "But we can work on that." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Kakashi suddenly tilted his head upwards, causing his hair to flick back out of his face, revealing more of his eye patch. "Sorry," He began, "I'm not into that kind of hobby." And with that he walked off.

They had finally boarded the plane, and were sitting comfortably in first class seats, when an English air hostess came up to Sakura.

"Do you like SpongeBob?" She asked. Sakura gave her a 'wtf' look, puzzled by such a contrived question.

"_Just say yes, Sakura. You get a free pen."_ Kakashi said. The Japanese passengers, who heard, laughed. The air hostess looked around, wondering what was so funny, but then just shrugged it off. "Yes," Sakura said, "Yes, I do like SpongeBob." The lady then handed her a package before promptly walking off. Sakura opened it to find some crayons, a SpongeBob comic, a colouring book, and, a pen. She opened the comic book, curious to see what it was like. "This manga is back to front." She said. "What the hell?"

"Hey." An American man sitting to Kakashi's right said. '_Damn, I didn't realise they came in first class too.' _Kakashi thought. "My name is Gorge Dolan." He introduced himself, offering his hand. "My name is none of your business." Kakashi replied, shaking it. "Heh, I like guys like you, friendly, but not giving too much away." Gorge said. He looked very similar to George from Seinfeld, and sounded just like him too.

"So...What're you reading?" Gorge asked.

"You from New York?" Kakashi asked, cleverly avoiding the question. "Yeah! How did you guess?"

"New Yorker's have a distinct accent." Is all he said.

"Kaka-sensei, can I ask you something?" Sakura said.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you take your mask off?" she asked.

Kakashi sighed. "Well...Tsunade...she...said it might freak people out."

Gorge leaned forward in his seat to get a better look at Sakura. "Are these your kids?" He asked. Kakashi scoffed. "No way in hell!" Kakashi stated.

"Gee, thanks, sensei, I'm so flattered." Sakura said sarcastically.

"No offense, Sakura, but if I had the choice of being your father or dying-" Kakashi stopped after feeling Sakura's death glare on him. He turned back to Gorge. "Students. Ah, it's a school trip."

"Oh, I see." He said.

"_Kaka-sensei, who is that man?"_ Sakura asked.

"_Gorge Dolan, apparently."_ Kakashi replied.

"_You know each other?" Sakura asked._

"_Sakura,"_Kakashi said rather loudly. _"There's always one idiotic American who won't leave you alone. I just didn't know they came in First Class too."_ The Japanese people around them started laughing again, adding comments like_ 'me too,'_ and '_Too true,' _and_ 'I feel your pain.'_

Just then a Japanese air hostess went round giving out wet towels.

"Wow," Gorge began, "Look at those legs!" Kakashi looked up to see wtf he was talking about.

"Eh? Akiko?" The Japanese hostess looked up. "Oh, Hatake-san ka?"

"_Akiko-san! What a coincidence. On the same flight again_?"

"Yes. I must admit, this is getting quite ridiculous_."_This 'Akiko' person smiled.

"Hey, you learned to speak English! Good for you."

"Thankyou. Oh yeah," She began, "_You__didn't tell me you were an actor_." Kakashi cocked his head to one side. "_Actor_?"

"_Yes. Princess Fuun II has just come out. Your acting skills are amazing. And that weird 'Raikiri' thing, it looked so realistic! I see you've brought some of the cast with you too_." She said, looking at Sakura and Naruto. Suddenly, they heard voices around them saying things like '_Now that you mention it...' _and _'yeah, it does look like them!'_

"_Aah, yes. About that-"_

"_Hey, don't worry about it! I can understand why you told me you were a teacher. You didn't want a whole load of fans coming up to you asking for your autograph!"_ She said. "..._And I've kinda blown your cover, haven't I?"_ She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "Ah, well, too late now." She handed him a wet towel, and then walked off.

"Kaka-sensei, who's she?" Naruto asked.

"An air hostess. She just happens to be on every flight I take. It's a bit freaky." Kakashi replied.

"You thinking of asking her out?" Gorge asked.

"Gorge-san, If Bill Murray only taught me one thing...which he has...it's never go out with an air Hostess."

"Kakashi, nan da yo?" Neji said.

"Erm, nothing."

"Miss, would you like some champagne?" The English flight attendant asked Kakashi. Kakashi slapped his forehead. "_If I hear one more 'miss' or 'ma'am' directed at me, I swear, I'm going to kill someone.'_

"Uh, that's a no." Sakura said to the lady. "Uh, okay." The lady replied. She pointed to Kakashi and mouthed, 'Is she okay?' Sakura mouthed back, 'It's a HE.' The flight attendant's eyes widened as she covered her mouth in shock. She then briskly walked away.

"Okay guys?" Kakashi said.

"What?"

"Now you know why I wear the frickin' mask in the first place."


	5. Arrival and Anna Miller's

**Chapter 5-**Arrival and Anna Miller's.

They had arrived in England, and had checked into a hotel. Professor McGonagall had popped in to see all was well, and to teach some basic spells and potions to Naruto, Sakura, Neji and Lee. She had then given them a booklet on extra spells, as once you knew the technique, all you had to do was remember the words and arm movements, and everything else they needed to know. Lee and Neji had decided to cram everything in at once, going for a work hard play hard approach, while Sakura decided to space things out, working at a couple of spells a day, then having the rest of the day off, making it painless. Naruto would have just tried to cram a whole load of spells in the last couple of minutes, but Sakura had forced him to study with her.

It was early morning, and Misaki had decided to explore London a bit more, despite the fact that she was still suffering from jetlag. She drearily past a bookstore when something orange caught her eye through the shop window. It was a book, with the words 'Flirting Paradise' on it.

"Flirting Paradise, Isn't that the book Hentai-san wrote?" 'I didn't know it was out in England. Though, isn't it 'Icha-icha'? They translated it wrong.' Misaki stared at the book through the window. 'Why does Kakashi like it so much? Better still, why is it a number one bestseller?' Misaki asked herself. "Just curious..." She said. She stayed there for a few seconds, before briskly walking into the shop.

Misaki found herself standing above the book in the bookstore. She hesitantly picked the book up and turned it over to read the summary. She then closed her eyes and opened the book at a random page. She blinked a couple of times. _"What? No pictures?"_

"Disappointed?" A voice asked. Misaki whipped her head around to find Kakashi's face inches away from hers.

"Kakashi! When did you..."

"I was here looking for something when I saw you walking in, so I just thought I'd just see what you were doing." He smiled.

"I was just curious. And don't stand so close...It freaks me out."

"Well that's the whole point of sneaking up on you, isn't it?" He smiled again.

"Take that smug look off your face." Misaki pouted. Kakashi immediately put on a straight face. "Whoa," Misaki began, "You have even less emotion without your mask."

"So anyways, what are you up to?"

"Nothing much, just checking London out."

"Pretty much the same here." Kakashi said. "So...you wanna grab a coffee?" He asked.

"Coffee, yes, I need coffee."She mumbled, walking out of the store. Kakashi sweatdropped. "Ah, I'll take that as a yes then."

They had reached a cafe called 'Anna Miller's' (1) and had just sat down, when they heard a woman's voice yell "I'm leaving Frank, it's final!" They then saw a girl with blonde hair come out of what they assumed was the kitchen, followed by a short skinny man, almost in tears. "Please, don't go!" The man pleaded, "Your the best waitress we have! You're the only reason we have as many customers as we do!" The girl stopped abruptly in front of the door. "Good luck, Frank. Without me, you're gonna need it!" The girl threw her apron at who they assumed to be Frank, before storming out of the cafe. Frank suddenly dropped to his knees, shouting things like, 'No!' and 'Why me?'

"Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays...(2)" Misaki muttered under her breath. Kakashi chuckled softly. "He's getting quite annoying. Maybe you should go talk to him. Your general happy attitude might cheer him up."

"Good thinking, Kashi-kun! I think I might just do that!" Misaki skipped up to the wailing man. "Uh, excuse me," she bent down and put a hand on his shoulder. "Is everything all right?" The man looked up. His eyes widened. "Yes...Everything's great...Now that you're here."

"Eh, thanks, I get that a lot." Misaki replied.

"Um...Please, take a seat!" The man suddenly stood up. Misaki sat down.

"Uh, are you...by any chance, looking for work?" He asked.

"Um, no actually. I'm kinda minted(3)." Misaki replied.

"Please! Help me! You've got to help me." Frank cried. Misaki gave Kakashi a 'See what you've gotten me into?' look. Kakashi sent back an 'I didn't force you to talk to the wailing psychopath' look.

"Will you become a waitress to replace Monica? Just for a little while, until our profits are back up. Please? I don't want to get fired!"

"Calm down dear, it's only a cafe(4). Well, I guess..." She glanced at Kakashi, who shrugged in response. "I'm here for about a week. Is that okay for you?"

"Why, yes, that's perfect!" Frank beamed. "May I ask your name?"

"Certainly. I'm Mitarashi Misaki...Misaki Mitarashi."

"Oh, is that Russian?"

"Japanese."

"Ah, I see."

* * *

"What's the time?" Ron asked.

"Half-past twelve." Ginny replied.

"Just about time for lunch then?" Harry asked.

"It better be. I'm starving!" Ginny moaned.

"You're not the only one." Ron stated.

"Well let's stop by at that Anna Miller place. I've been hearing wonderful things about it." Harry said.

"Good idea, Harry," Ron began, "It's famous for having the cutest waitresses. Not just from England, but from all over the world! There's even a Japanese waitress there."

"Honestly, I swear cute girls are all you ever think about now." Ginny chided Ron.

"Yeah, whatever, Ron. Just don't sit there gawking at all the girls there." Harry said.

"Naw, that's more you're kind of thing." Ron laughed as he stepped inside the cafe.

"So," Harry began as the three sat down, "What are you guys having?"

"Probably just an ordinary ham and salad baguette." Ron replied.

"I'm having the chef's salad." Ginny said.

Ron raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you were hungry."

"Shut it, Ron." Ginny glared at her brother.

"Welcome to Anna Miller's." A voice said. They turned around to find a beautiful waitress, wearing a white shirt, an apron, a black, short skirt and black high-heeled boots.

"Are you guys ready to take your orders?"They were so mesmerised by her figure (except for Ginny)that they forgot to actually look at her face. But when they did, they were even more mesmerised by flowing purple hair, and bright green eyes. "Um...Yeah." Ginny began. "We'll have...three cokes, the chef's salad, the ham and salad baguette, and...one Arizona chicken sandwich." The girl noted this down on her notepad, before smiling and bowing slightly "Wakarimashita!" she said before walking off. The three stared at her, puzzled by the words that had just come out of her mouth. "You think she might be the Japanese one?" Harry asked.

"Harry, Ron, Ginny!" They turned round to find none other than Cho.

"Cho! I didn't know you lived in London." Harry said.

"We moved. I live in the Barbican now." Cho replied. "Isn't Hermione normally here with you?"

"She was busy today." Ron said. Just then a man walked in to the cafe "Yo." He said, sitting at the table next to Harry's. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei!" Just about everyone in the room chorused, except for the four. '_Kakashi_,' Cho thought. '_Where have I heard that name before?'_

"That guys really popular. Wonder who he is." Ron whispered to Harry.

"He's just some random dude who comes here often." The waitress said, as she put the food on the table.

"Some random dude who made you lunch today."The man said, holding up a brown paper bag.

"Dango?"

"Yup."

"What kind?" The waitress asked.

"Mitarashi of course." The man replied.

The waitress smiled, looked at the clock and then turned to Cho. "Can I get you anything, Miss?"

"No, thank you." Cho replied.

"Good, 'cause my shift's over and I'm hungry!" The waitress said, moving over to the man's table.

"I had made breakfast for everyone too, but you had already gone by then." The man said.

**-NARUTO POV-**

"_Did you notice_?"Kakashi asked.

"_Yes. That's our target, isn't it?"_

Kakashi nodded. "_This is good. Now he'll be easier to spot next time."_

**-HARRY POTTER POV-**

"Wait a minute," Cho turned round. "Are you Kakashi...As in Hatake Kakashi?"

The man gave the girl a strange look. "Yes, that's me."

"Even Cho knows him? Bloody Hell, he really is popular!" Ron whispered to Harry.

"Hatake Kakashi as in Princess Fuun Hatake Kakashi?"

"Eh? Damn, I didn't know it was out in England!"

"No, it isn't. It's out in China though."

"Ah, I see." The man smiled. "Well, I'd best be going." He stood up. "And who knows, we might see each other again sometime."

* * *

**A/N: Aimi Yamaneko: Who knows...It may have kakasaku...may not have kakasaku...you never know until you read on... **

**Elfnin339: Thanks for reviewing every 5 seconds!**

**Emo-Penguin-woof: thanks! **

**Ya know what? Updating everyday probably makes me the fastest updater on I know, I borrowed the cafe from megatokyo. No flames please! It's a multi xover. **

**(2) Yeah, that line's from the movie 'Office Space' It's funny. You should watch it, if you haven't already.**

**(3)just incase you didn't know...or are American (that's not an insult, I just don't know if you have that saying in America), minted means you're ridiculously rich.**

**(4)Again, unless you're British, I don'y think you'll get it. It's a phrase repeatedly used by Michael Winner in the Esure car insurance adverts.**

**Read and Review!**

**M.S. **


	6. Diagonally?

Chapter 6- Diagonally

**Chapter 6**- Diagonally?

"Diagonally?" Naruto asked.

"Diagon Alley." Anko replied.

"And that is where we are going to get our stuff?" Lee asked.

"Sure is." Kakashi smiled.

"School. I can't believe we have to go back to school again." Naruto moaned.

"I cannot believe they go to school until they are eighteen!" Lee exclaimed.

"And they do university, too." Sakura stated.

"Eh, maybe they don't soak up information as well as we do." Kakashi said.

Sakura laughed. "That's probably true."

"Well, can you tell us what this Hagrid person looks like, so we can look out for him?" Neji said. Kakashi was silent. "You don't know what he looks like."

Kakashi paused. "He said we'll know him when we see him."

"Excuse me," The shinobi turned around to find a tall, no, massive man towering over them. In fact, he was so tall they couldn't even see his face. "Ye wouldn't happen te be the ones sent by Dumbledore, would ye?" He said in a strong unusual accent.

"Yes, that's us!" Misaki smiled. "I presume you're Hagrid."

"Nice te mee' ye all! Noo cum' along this way." They followed Hagrid into a pub called 'The Leaky Cauldron', where the bartender, whose name was apparently 'Tom' had a little chat with Hagrid, before he lead them out the back of the pub, to a dead end. He then produced a pink umbrella out of his moleskin jacket and proceeded to tap on the wall with it, ignoring the shinobi who were trying desperately to hold back their laughter. The wall then suddenly opened, revealing a wide, bright, slightly abnormal street with shops lining the sides.

"This is Diagon Alley." Hagrid said.

"Ok, let's split up then. Naruto and I will go one way, and Lee and Neji can go another." Sakura offered.

"...Okay." Neji replied. Kakashi gave them shopping lists and they went on their way, leaving the adults behind.

They got all the books, and wands from Olivander...I don't want to go through the whole list, just a couple thousand windows broken, you know the routine. Then of course, they came to Madame Malkin's Robes for all Occasions. They had purchased the usual uniform, and were now getting dress robes for themselves. Sakura was having a hard time deciding what to wear.

"So many choices..." Sakura said to herself while looking through some fabrics. "Normally for special occasions I like to wear a kimono or something traditional, but we're not in Konoha anymore."

"The cream would look good on you." A cold drawling voice broke her concentration. She whipped her head around to see a boy around her age with pale skin, piercing gray eyes and platinum blonde gelled hair. He smirked. Sakura grimaced. She hated it when people smirked. It reminded her of Sasuke. It reminded her of how she couldn't do anything to help. It reminded her of how she used to be weak, how she used to be useless. The boy looked so calm and cool like that, leaning against the wall, Although, he probably spent thirty minutes fussing about, trying to get into just the right position, look cool before saying his 'Oh so cool' line, which wasn't even that cool. Sakura tried hard not to laugh at this thought, besides, if he was a friend of the Harry Potter person, she didn't want to upset him.

"Um, excuse me?" Sakura asked.

"I said that the cream would look good on you." The boy repeated.

"Malfoy, what are you doing? Scaring girls away with your ugly face?" Another voice was heard. She then saw a boy with thick, black, messy hair and green eyes, wearing humongous glasses, staring spitefully at the other boy. She assumed from the description she had gotten earlier, that this was the person she was supposed to protect.

"That's rich coming from you, after all, you will never get a girlfriend with those ludicrously, over-embellished glasses of yours." Malfoy retorted. Harry glared at the blond.

"**The posh bastard." **Inner Sakura said.

'Ludicrously over embellished... Is that even grammatically correct?' Sakura thought.

"Relax, Potter. Just giving Pinky here some fashion advice."

"**PINKY!?"** Inner Sakura practically screamed, causing Sakura to wince slightly.

"Sakura." A deep voice said coming from behind her. The only difference was that she knew who it was.

--

"Sakura." Harry looked behind the pink-haired girl. It was the man from the café!

"Cream is nice, but not for this occasion. I suggest you go with something black, maybe gothic Lolita-ish." The man suggested.

"Yeah, that would be nice in Japan," A woman with a purple ponytail popped out of nowhere. "But we're not there anymore."

"So?" The man argued. "Add a bit of Japanese culture, make a London Harajuku thing. After they've Westernised Japan, we should return the favour."

"Did someone say Harajuku? I love Harajuku! Let's talk about Harajuku." Suddenly, the waitress appeared! And she did have an amazing sense of fashion, although a bit emoic. She was wearing black skinny jeans, turned up at the bottom, with a checker-board lining, and a checkerboard belt. She also wore a black t-shirt that said, 'I reject your reality and substitute my own'.

"I have a suggestion," A boy with long black hair and no pupils said. "If you can't decide, then go with something simple and plain. Not white, though, white's too pure. I have to agree with baldy, go with the cream." Harry saw Draco's face turn from chalky white to dark red.

"HEY!" Draco yelled. "At least I don't look like a pink-haired clown, a fluorescent porcupine, a blind girl, a purple freak show and…a…" Malfoy pointed at Café man. "A…she man!"

"Hey, don't be mean to Anko." Café man grinned. "It's not her fault people think she has a-."

"DICK-HEAD!" The purple person flicked Café man, who just grinned arrogantly.

"Uh… Wait a second." Anko's face turned pale.

"That's kind of hypocritical, after calling Sakura Pinky, isn't it?" Draco's face darkened even more, before composing himself.

"Well anyway, I have no time for you losers." Draco said, getting ready to walk away.

The Baldy was just about ready to walk away, when Sakura decided to run up to the person she assumed was Harry Potter.

"Is this person a friend of yours?" she asked. The Harry Potter person looked a bit surprised, replying, "As if! Sometimes I just can't resist the urge to just chuck a log at his inflated head!"

"Right." An evil smile creped onto Sakura's face. "Then you won't mind if I do this…" Sakura ran up to the bald-but-not-really boy, pulling her fist back. Malfoy turned around in shock, as Sakura's fist stopped just inches away from his face.

Then…Sakura flicked him.

Yes, that's right.

Sakura **flicked** Malfoy.

"Ow! My beautiful face! What did you do that for?"

"'Coz you're an arrogant prick." Sakura said, with little emotion in her voice.

"What kind of a pathetic little gesture was that? It barely even tickled." Malfoy sneered.

Sakura grinned politely, before punching him, sending him flying through the window of Madam Malkin's, bouncing off a random wall which suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and in through the window of Olivander. Olivander sighed. "Why does this always happen to me?"

"Better now?" Sakura grinned, flicking her hair out of the way. Harry and friends stared in awe.

"Bloody Hell!" Ginger stood, gawking at Sakura. Sakura then looked back, startling the Potter pals for a minute.

"Sorry about that." Sakura began, "He was getting on my nerves." They then stared at the broken window, where Malfoy had just flown out of.

"Oh, Baldy? Don't worry, he shouldn't have any serious injuries. He'll be waking up in a few minutes."

"Oh really? I was hoping he was dead. Then I wouldn't have to see his ugly mug again." Harry said. Sakura laughed, saying "That's understandable."

Recovering from the shock, Harry decided to introduce himself. "I take it you're new here, judging from the fact that I've never seen you before."

"Yes, well we're transfer students from Japan." Sakura smiled.

"Well, then let me introduce myself! I'm Harry Potter, and these are my best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."

"I'm Haruno Sakura…Sakura Haruno, and these are Naruto Uzumaki, Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji, Anko and Misaki Mitarashi, and Hatake Kakashi."

"Well, hello again." Kakashi smiled at the boys.

Ron gasped. "Café Man!" he pointed at Kakashi. Hermione raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Oh yeah, you weren't there were you, Hermione?"

"Well, I told you we'd meet again…" Café man paused. "…Harry Potter."

The Shinobi raised an eyebrow. "Kakai-sensei, how do you know…"

"Nothing worth worrying about. Now, could you possibly tell us where King's Cross is?"

"Yes, well we're just heading that way ourselves."

"WE COULD GO TOGETHER!!" Naruto grinned, "BELIEVE IT!"

Sakura punched Naruto. "Stop saying that." Kakashi said.

"Yeah, you twat (1)." Sakura grumbled.

So, they all went to King's Cross, together (Believe it!).

"So where is this youthful platform?" Lee chirruped, drawing attention to himself. It didn't help that he was still wearing his usual green.

"Platform 9 ¾? It's right through that wall." Harry pointed to the wall.

The shinobi paused. 'Is he retarded?' they thought to themselves.

"Don't believe us? Come on I'll show you." Ron ran at the wall, going straight through it. The shinobi stared in awe. "Some kind of genjutsu?" Neji said to himself.

"So try it." Harry said.

The shinobi were still a bit surprised, but then just shrugged and hesitantly went through the wall. Naruto slowly edged up to the wall.

"Come on, just run through it." Hermione assured Naruto.

"Nah, there's no way I'm going through that wall."

"Why? Get the hell on with it!" Anko shouted.

"No! This kinda thing always happens to me. I run through the wall, I bounce right off it and break my jaw then everyone tells me what an idiot I am then Sakura beats me up."

Kakashi then picked Naruto up and flung him through the wall. The wizards gave Kakashi a shocked look.

"…It was the only way." He said.

Most of the shinobi were through, when a bright flash of orange streaked past them, landing with a bang against the train, startling passers by. The rest of the shinobi, as well as Harry and Hermione rushed through the wall, checking to see whether Naruto was still alive, while other wizards came rushing to aid him.

"Are you okay? Get an ambulance!" Naruto heard someone say. It was Harry. Naruto quickly jumped to his feet, startling the wizards, and looked around for his sensei.

"KAKAI-SENSEI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT?!"

"You were taking too long."

"I COULD HAVE DIED!!"

"Orly? You look pretty fine to me."

"Whoa mate, that was bloody harsh!" said Ron.

"Come on, guys, let's go." Sakura said, hopping on to the train. They serched the train looking for a compartment, and quickly seeing one, dashed in. The clock chimed eleven and they were off. Naruto and Sakura looked out of the window at their sensei, who was once again engrossed in his book. Upon noticing them, he gave his signature smile, raised a hand and waved at his students. Naruto and Sakura gormlessly waved back.

"Well, now that's sorted out, let's move on." Kakashi said, turning to face everybody else.

"Yes, but come to think of it, where's Jiraiya?"

"You pervert!" A blonde woman slapped Jiraiya, before stomping off.

"Well it was worth a shot."

**I'm not sure if everyone know what a twat is. It's just an insult in general really, so...yeah.**

**A/N: Guys, I've stopped calling Kakashi "Kaka-sensei". The only reason I sarted caling him that is because I heard somewhere he get's killed. But hey-ho. **

**I'm sorry it's been ages since my last update. On the bright side, I'm posting several chapters at once. Satisfied?**


	7. Geting to know you

Chapter 7- Getting to know you.

"Do you have houses where you come from?" Harry asked.

"Erm, everyone has houses. Apart from the beggars, but we don't get much of those." Naruto replied.

"Oh no! We meant, like...Well in our school, you get separated into 4 houses and we compete against each other to win the house cup. The same types of people tend to go to the same house." Ron explained.

"Oh, right...Hmm... Well, not the way I would have done it but hey." Sakura mumbled.

"What? You'd do it a different way?" Harry inquired.

"Well we're put into three-man teams so that if one person is lacking something, the other person compensates for it. Naruto and I are in a team, since I make up for his lack of brains."

"Hm...Interesting." Ron nodded.

"So what's your school like where you come from?" Ron asked curiously.

"Oh it's lovely. Each team gets one sensei who teaches us basically everything so once we get split into teams we don't really learn at the academy anymore, we just go to some random field. Our sensei's pretty popular with the villagers so they don't really mind where we go. Our meeting place is on a bridge over the lake. Sometimes Kakai-sensei just can't be bothered to teach us and we just go to the nearest ramen stand. Then we buy loads and force Kakai-sensei to pay!" Sakura said.

"Ugh, don't remind me...I haven't had ramen in months." Naruto groaned.

"What? Do you not go to Ichiraku's anymore?" Lee cocked his head to one side.

"I've been running short of money lately and Kakai-sensei won't buy me meals anymore."

"Wow, so no classrooms?" Harry asked.

"And free food? That's bloody amazing!" Ron exclaimed.

"But missing out on lessons? Doesn't strike me as a good teacher." Hermione raised an eyebrow.

Sakura shook her head. "He's the best there is, not that anyone would know since we're the only students he didn't fail." The wizards looked at Sakura in disbelief. "Oh no! That's not what I meant. Before we graduate we have to undergo a test carried out by our may-be-sensei. If we pass, we graduate and begin learning under that sensei, but if we fail we get sent back to the academy. About 60 of students fail and Kakashi had a 0 success rate before we came along. Either all of the students sent to Kakashi were rubbish or he has really high expectations for his students."

"Wow. No offence but he sounds like a right prick." Ron rested his head on his hands.

"But your school sounds amazing!" Hermione stared wistfully out of the cabin window. "I always wanted to go to China."

"Haha..." Naruto laughed fakely. "That's all very well, but we're Japanese."

"Oh...Sorry. I always get the two mixed up."

There was an awkward silence in the cabin as the train set off. Ron eyed Neji for a few minutes.

"What are you looking at, Ginger?" Neji spoke in a cold voice. The wizards jumped back in shock.

"What? You can actually SEE me?"

"Yes." Neji raised an eyebrow.

"B...B...but how!?"

Neji sweatdropped for the first time in years. "Uh... How about with my EYES."

"Huh? I thought you were blind!" Ron yelled. Neji shook his head.

"Well I'm not. Use your head, kid." Neji snapped. He seemed offended. Another awkward silence filled the room.

"Um, sorry. If you'll excuse us, I need to borrow the boys for a while." Hermione smiled nervously, "come on, boys!" Harry and Ron stood up and left the cabin with Hermione.

"Um, Neji? We're supposed to make friends with them, not scare them away. What the Heck was that all about?" Sakura asked.

"Indeed. That was not a very youthful thing to do." Lee said.

"I was setting things straight. It just came out wrong. Sorry." Neji shrugged, sounding insincere.

"Well guys, I think they're onto us, so we're gonna have to try even harder to get them to trust us. Don't screw ANYTHING up." Sakura glared at Naruto who whimpered under Sakura's death glare. "Got it?"

"Got it!" The shinobi chorused.

"I think you offended him..." Harry looked in the general direction of the cabin.

"Don't they seem a bit odd though?" Ron asked.

"Hmm? How do you mean?" Harry inquired.

"I'd have to agree with Ron, Harry. They didn't react to your name the way most people would. I mean, you're the 'Boy-Who-Lived' for Heaven's sake!"

"Well they come from a completely different country. It wouldn't surprise me." Harry said.

"Well You-know-who is a threat to the whole entire world! Providing they know who he is, they should know who you are."

"Well did you see that amazing punch Sakura landed on Malfoy? I think they deserve our respect."

"Harry has a point there." Ron nodded his head.

"That's the thing! No ordinary human could do that! He bounced of walls, Harry. OFF THE BLOODY WALLS!" Hermione practically screamed.

"Hush now, Hermione. But I still do agree with her. I mean, how can a white-eyed, pupil-less boy NOT be blind?"

"Well what are you getting at, Ron? You think they're death eaters?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"We're not saying anything like that. We're just telling you to be careful, that's all."

"Oh look who it is." It was Malfoy, and this time Crabbe and Goyle were at either side of him. "Where are your little friends? Did you scare them away with your huge, nerd-like glasses?"

"That's the second time you've made an attack towards the glasses, and the second time you've said something about scaring people away. Can't you think of some fresher cusses?" Naruto said from behind. Crabbe grimaced.

"Malfoy's cusses are fresh enough!" Goyle stepped forward and shoved Naruto.

"Listen, I don't want any trouble, I just want to go to the toilet."

"Aw, baby needs to go potty, does he?" Malfoy sneered.

"OO How old are you, like five?" Naruto stared at the three. There was a silence, as Malfoy tried to think of a fresher cuss. Failing, he decided to stick with the attack to the glasses.

"Well at least I'm not the Freaky-Glasses Man!" Draco turned and stormed off. The old attack to the glasses gave him great satisfaction, and he didn't really want to change it now.

"Wow, what an arse." Naruto watched Malfoy prance down the corridor.

"We're just relieved that we're not the only ones who think he's a right git." Harry laughed.

"Now what did I come out for?...Oh right, gotta pee!" Naruto said as he shooted of down the corridor.

"What a peculiar character..." Hermione said to herself. "Let's go back anywhoo."

They reached the carriage again, to find Sakura Lee and Neji talking about something in Japanese.

"Hey guys, what are you up to?"

"Um...Nothing. We're just discussing this text our sensei sent us."

"What? Why does your sensei have your number?" Ron asked.

"He has his ways..." Neji mumbled.

"Um...Cool, what did he say?" Hermione asked.

Sakura sighed, before reaching into her pocket, and grabbing her mobile. She flicked it open, and then read, "How do you feed a fish coffee?" The wizards stared in confusion.

"Why would he send something like that?"Harry asked.

"True, he's been acting rather OOC lately." Sakura looked at the screen of her mobile.

"I just can't get over the fact that the road of life actually exists!" Naruto had returned.

"And I can imagine why he wouldn't want to cross that black cat's path." Sakura said.

"Hehe, I can't believe you're scared of a cat, Sakura-chan." Naruto laughed.

"But this cat was really scary though! It was smiling at me! IT WAS GRINNING AT ME!" Sakura tried to explain to Naruto. Naruto grunted, sitting down carelessly, resting the back of his head in his hands.

"In a cup."

"Eh?" Everyone in the room chorused.

"Give the fish a cup. If the fish wants to get high that badly, I'm sure it'll find a way to get to it."

Sakura's phone started buzzing. She quickly slammed her hand down on the phone, as the noise was driving her crazy. She looked at the screen, before saying, "Oi Naruto, I think this is for you." Before showing the screen across the table to Naruto. Naruto read the screen:

_H__mm..._

_Interesting answer__._

_I like it._

_chuuudhvdffsdew_

"How did he know what you were saying!?" Hermione asked, alarmed.

"Beats me." Neji replied.

"Yay! Kakai-sensei liked my answer! But putting the 'chuuu' on the end did weird me out there."

"Ooh, well to be honest, I always sensed chemistry between you two." Sakura teased.

"Aw, come on, be nice Sakura-chan." Naruto groaned.

"Yes. Love between a student and a teacher is completely youthful!" Lee stated.

"Hn, not surprising coming from you." Neji smirked.

"What's 'choo'?" Harry asked.

"It's onomatopoeia used when one is implying a kiss." Sakura explained. The wizards grimaced.

"Eeewww!" The boys chorused. "Your teacher is so out of order! Get away from him while you have the chance!" Ron shouted.

The phone buzzed again. Naruto looked at the screen:

_But it's still wrong._

_Haha. ___

_Sucker_

_Btw Anko wrote the chuu at the end._

_Not me. Not ever._

_So don't get any ideas._

Abaaabaayrshce

"Eh?" Naruto yelled. He grabbed the phone and started writing his own text.

"What are you saying?" Sakura asked.

"WTF. And...send." A few moments later the phone started buzzing again:

_Anko's trying to steal my phone._

_If Misaki wasn't here I would've killed her...him by now._

_I'm gonna stop sending txts now._

_They invoke bad english._

_e-mails are much better._

_I'm gonna buy you all laptops with the insane amount of money I'll have by the end of the year._

"Umm, okay..." Naruto said.

They talked for a little while longer, and then just stared out of the window for a long time. Naruto had fallen asleep. There was a sudden jolt, awakening Naruto from his peaceful slumber.

"We're here."

**A/N: I am so knackered. I spent the whole night writing this story, straight after exams aswell. Haah And don't ask me what's up with Kakashi and that random text message. **

* * *


	8. The sorting hat

Chapter 8 – The sorting Hat

Harry was beginning to get a little sceptical. The wizards were gathered in the main hall and the Japanese exchanges had gone off with McGonnagal. It just bothered him that all four of them were able to see Thestrals. Had they all witnessed and accepted a death? It wasn't impossible, but it was darn right unusual.

"Hey guys, I see what you mean about the exchanges. They are a bit fishy." Harry whispered to the two friends next to him.

"Oh really? And what caused this sudden change of heart?" Hermione grinned smugly.

"I have my own reasons for believing what I believe." Harry whispered again.

"Why are you whispering?" Ron asked. Harry shrugged.

Dumbledore stood up. "For a start, I would like to welcome our newcomers and welcome back our old hands. Now, if I could steal a moment of your attention for the usual announcements …" He went on.

"…It pleases me to no end, to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge!" The students politely applauded.

"Also joining us, are two teachers all the way from Japan! They will be leading an optional Self Defense class. Please make them feel very welcome, Anko Mitarashi and…Oh." Dumbledore looked down the staff table, "Professor Hatake doesn't seem to be here to-" He was interrupted by the creaking of opening doors, revealing a silver-haired man with an eyepatch covering his left eye, wearing an ordinary blue shirt rolled up at the sleeves, black jeans and trainers(1). He seemed engrossed in a book he was reading, but it wouldn't have surprised Harry if he was just trying to ignore the giggles coming from the girls in every house, or the murmurs of, "He's really pretty", "He has an eyepatch! That's so mysterious. Do you suppose he's a pirate?" and "I hope he's single. Is he single?" It was funny, Harry thought, as from a distance he looked a lot like Café man.

He suddenly looked up from his orange book that he was reading. "Aha, sorry I'm late. You'd be surprised at the number of black cats you get crossing your path." The students all laughed.

"Are you sure? He doesn't strike me as a particularly organized person. If you ask me, he looks like a weak, ugly, old man. His hair's already going grey! He's not fit to teach a lesson at all." A voice called out from the Slytherin table. It was none other than Draco.

"Better grey hair than no hair I always say, hm, Baldy?" Kakashi calmly retorted. "Oh yeah, and if I'm ugly then what do you suppose that says about yourself?" The pupils roared with laughter.

Dumbledore decided to continue. "Yes, Kakashi Hatake and Mitarashi Anko will be leading the optional class of Self Defense and be of aid to Professors Snape and Umbridge." So please give them a very warm welcome." The students cheered and applauded loudly as Kakashi sauntered over to the staff table and lazily sat down on an empty chair next to Snape and Anko.

"Because I rock." Kakashi smirked. Snape eyed the silver haired professor carefully.

'A peculiar character. If he's is to aid me in my teaching, then I'd best keep an eye on him_.'_

"Carrying on from that…" Dumbledor decided to continue, "We will be joined this year by four Japanese exchange students. Now without further ado, let us introduce them and then sort them into their houses." McGonnagal then proceeded to call out the following names:

"NARUTO UZUMAKI." Naruto walked onto the stage and sat down on a chair as McGonnagal had gestured. She promptly placed the sorting hat on top of Naruto's head.

'Am I supposed to feel this stupid with this weird hat on my head_?'_

"_Ah,what do we have here?" _Naruto jumped in surprise.

'Aaah, bad, bad, very bad. I'm hearing voices in my head!_'_

'**Oh just shut up, kid. It's not like you've never heard my voice inside you before."** The kyuubi yelled.

"_Oh what's this? Two minds in one body?" _

'**Who's that? I don't like strangers invading my mind.' **Kyuubi said through clenched teeth.

'What? _You're _the one invading _my _mind!' Naruto thought angrily. The hat just went on about his business.

"_Well not too good on the brain, so I guess Ravenclaw's out. Hm…Has more of a fiery temper than a bubbly attitude so it's not Hufflepuff either" _The hat continued.

'**It's not like I want to be here you stupid little brat! It's your father who sealed me inside you! What you think I just waltzed into your mind of my own free will?' **Kyuubi grimaced.

"_Now let's see, brave, selfless, cares more for others than yourself…"_

"**Gyargh! Get that stupid voice out of here NOW!"** Kyuubi began ramming his body against the sides of his cage, creating a massive earthquake inside of Naruto's mind. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, trying to ignore Kyuubi's childish tantrum.

"_Oh no! I've had enough of this!"_

"**GRIFFINDOR!" **The hat called out. People at the Griffindor table cheered, while Naruto slowly made his way to his house's table.

'He's shaking. Did something happen with the kyuubi?' Kakashi thought. Snape glanced at Kakashi for a second. 'What? Why does he suddenly look so upset?'

"SAKURA HARUNO." McGonnagal called. As Sakura walked in, whispers filled the room. Whispers like, "Is that her real hair colour?"

"_You're very smart, but your also selfless.It could go either way. Chose what you want: Ravenclaw or Griffindor?"_

'Uh, could I possibly have Ravenclaw please?'

"**RAVENCLAW!"**

"NEJI HAYUJA" A rather pissed Neji, probably due to the mispronunciation of his name, walked on. The girls started squealing and giggling as Neji placed the hat on his head. 'Japan has some pretty handsome boys then.' They all thought.

'_Another smart one. I would like to put you in Ravenclaw too, but what makes me want to put you in Slytherin is that you have a very dark past. Your genius overweighs that and so-'_ The hat was cut off by Neji.

'With all do respect, Hat-san, we were hired by Dumbledore-san to protect Hogwarts. We would be more evenly spread if one person went in each house. I would prefer to go in Slytherin.'

'_Wow. You don't hear that everyday. I don't really want to do that but very well. You may have your wish.'_

"**SLYTHERIN." **The hat said with a slight tint of disgust in his voice. The people at the Slytherin table all cheered.

"ROCK LEE." Rock Lee walked on, causing everyone to laugh at his crazy bowl-cut and his enormous eyebrows. It was just as well that he was wearing school uniform instead of his green spandex.

"**HUFFLEPUFF!"** The hat called out before the hat had a chance to even brush a hair on his head.

"Well now that everything's sorted…" Dumbledore began.

"Tuck in!" And they did. When everything was over, the wizards went to their separate dorms and went to bed.

Harry had awoken in the middle of the night, his scar throbbing like nobody's business. He looked around the room, spotting a dark figure in the room. He couldn't quite see the figure that well, as he did not have his glasses, and it was pitch black. All he knew was that it was a tall man. He seemed preoccupied with something else, as he did not notice Harry was awake. Harry fumbled around, trying to find his wand, before grabbing it and pointing it at the figure.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Harry hissed.

"I am no one you need to worry about." The figure said, before opening a window and jumping out of it. Harry froze, gobsmacked. How did he do that? Surely he'd die from that hight!

"Maybe this is all a dream." Harry went back to sleep.


	9. The assessment

"These uniforms are disgusting. Couldn't they have found something a little more comfortable?" Naruto moaned.

"Or youthful." Lee hung his head, upset that he was not allowed to wear his usual green.

"Ah, you'll get used to it." Ron patted Lee on the back. "Now Hufflepuff's table is over there. I'm sure you'll make a lot of friends there."

"THANKYOU RON!" Lee embraced Ron in some kind of bear hug. "YOU ARE MOST YOUTHFUL!" He then went off to the Hufflepuff table to have breakfast.

"Is he always like this?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Um...yes." Naruto drawled. They sat down to eat breakfast, ad Naruto decided to taste an English breakfast for the tenth time.

"Wow, this is absolutely DELICIOUS!" Naruto exclaimed after trying a piece of sausage.

"Yes, well it is the typical English breakfast. Is this your first time trying English food?" Harry said with a smug look on his face.

"Yup. And it tastes grrrreat!" Naruto lied, gulping down his food.

'Are you kidding? Our food is WAY better than this. Oh, well. We are here to make friends after all, and Sakura DID say to be on my best behaviour.' Naruto thought.

"Heheh, smooth." Anko said from the staff table, under her breath.

"So anyway, what lessons do we have today?" Naruto asked Harry.

"You can just look in your timetable." Hermione replied.

"No I can't. I already lost it." Naruto sheepishly grinned.

"What? You were given it just yesterday!" Ron looked at Naruto, flabbergasted.

"Ahaha, I was never very organised, especially when it comes to school things."

"Hm...well, here we go..." Harry said, taking his timetable out. "You can look at that. And look, we have our first three lessons as well as Self defense with all the other houses!"

"Hm... That's a bit unusual. Why is that?" Hermione asked.

"It's probably just because it's optional. Many people might just skip it." Naruto replied.

"Good point." Hermione smiled at Naruto.

'Hm? Good point? Me? Did I actually say something smart? ...whoa.'

"But still...that means we have to share four lessons with Slytherin." Ron grimaced.

"I think Neji's in Slytherin..." Naruto looked up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I always thought it. Nothing good ever comes out of Slytherin, so you better stay away from those kinds of people. " Ron warned. Naruto blinked.

"Time for lessons then. Shall we continue?" Harry asked.

"Coming." Naruto said.

"So are you actually going to Self defence classes?" Naruto asked the three as they walked up the stairs.

"Of course! That Professor Hatake seems really cool! The way he rinsed Malfoy like that." Ron beamed.

"Hehe. That's funny. That's the same person you called a prick on the train." Naruto looked back. "No offence."

" None taken. I wasn't even listening anyway." Kakashi said from behind. The wizards jumped back is surprise. "AH! What are you doing here? I mean...How long have you been there?" Harry said.

"Long enough to hear that you think Kakashi's a prick! Good on you!." Anko replied.

"Ah, we are assessing the teachers' methods of teaching. We'll be following you guys around for the first three lessons." Kakashi said.

"Oh." Harry drawled. The funny thing was, he looked a lot like Cafe man, even though Harry couldn't really remember what he looked like that well. They had just gotten into the classroom when Trelawney walked in. "Good morning class, now take your seats. Now I believe we have some new students here." Trelawney walked over to where the shinobi were sitting. "If you'd be so kind as to tell me who you are, I have a memory like a sieve!"

"Erm..." Sakura began. "My name is Sakura. Sakura Haruno."

"I'm Neji Hyuuga."

"Rock Lee."

"Naruto Uzumaki. I'm gonna be..." Naruto felt Sakura's glare on him.

'If he says anything about being the next Hokage, I swear, I'll punch him through the wall.' Sakura thought.

"Ahm...I'm gonna be really looking forward to this lesson!" Naruto smiled fakely.

"Oh, that's good. By the wa...Oh no. The moon is shadowing Jupiter. I sense something very bad is going to happen. Your lives will be full of misery and death will follow you wherever you go. One of you will die very soon!" Trelawny held her head in her hands and started moving her neck in circles. The shinobi sweatdropped.

'Is this woman crazy?'

'Hm...Even more dramatic this year...' Ron thought.

"Don't worry. She does that to everyone at some point. It's not real, she's just speaking rubbish." Harry whispered from behind them.

'The strange thing is, she might be right.' Was the thought in the shinobi's heads.

Anko let out a laugh. Trelawney suddenly turned around.

"Ahaha...um. coughcoughwheeze..."

"Is everything quite alright? Trelawney asked.

"Um, yes, I was just scoffing. COUGHING! I...I've had a nasty cough all day, that's all." Anko lied.

"Ooh. That's never good. Coughing on a Monday when Pluto is shadowing Jupiter, even though it's physically impossible!" Kakashi looked at Anko. Anko suddenly gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Kakashi, shut up." She hissed.

"Tomorrow, you will get the worst soar throat in the history of infections. Maybe even...A COLD!" He continued.

"This will cause everyone you sneeze on to commit suicide!"

"Seriously, SHUT UP." Anko was turning red.

"Then you will be locked up in a cage in order to stop you from harming other people! But that's not the worst part. At the end of your life..." Anko shook her head as if to say, 'please don't say it!'

"...you will DIE!" That was it. She couldn't take it anymore. Anko burst out laughing, soon followed by the rest of the class. Trelawny stood in the middle of the classroom, totally oblivious to the joke, wondering what was so funny.

"Ahem Anyway, carry on." Kakashi turned and smiled at Trelawny.

"And in order to create Murtlap Essence..." Snape rambled on in his monotonous tone. Anko had fallen asleep since the lesson was so boring. Kakashi had read his book from cover to cover eight times since the class began.

"...And although moonstone does have many uses-"

"AAH!" Anko woke abruptly from her sleep, startling Kakashi.

"Anko, WHAT THE HECK?" Kakashi said, panting rapidly.

"Huh, what? Ah, Kakashi. I had this really freaky dream. I was trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob..."

"Why the heck do you choose to sleep in a bloody potions class!?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes. This is a potions class, after all." Snape raised a brow.

"Ah, yes...Carry on." Kakashi smiled nervously. "Retard." Kakashi mumbled under his breath.

"Prick." Anko replied. "Oi, Snakey-san...Just curious, are all lessons like this?"

"First of all, please address me as Professor Snape. Second of all, yes. All of my lessons are like this." Snape replied. Anko blinked.

"Riiight..." she drawled, writing something on a piece of paper. Kakashi silently chuckled.

* * *

Misaki whistled as she walked down an empty hallway, spinning a set of keys around her finger.

"Man, this place is big. This'll take a long time to investigate. And all these keys Dumbledore-san gave me...Ooh, whatever's in here?" Misaki saw a wooden door to the side of the hallway, and decided to investigate. "Now which one...Ah, I'm guessing this one's it." Misaki held a key infront of her, and proceeded to fit it into the lock. "Bingo. I thought they were supposed to have magic portraits and stuff but I guess you need to have some unique and individual-" Misaki stopped mid-sentence, when she heard the creeking of another door. She then heard someone speak.

"So what can you tell me about Harry Potter?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

'OMG how convenient...' Misaki thought. 'He could be a bit more cautious than that.'

"Eh? Well he's a right rascal, I'll tell you that. Always doing things he ought not to be doing, always wandering into places he shouldn't be wandering into. One time he went into the forbidden forests. He thinks we don't catch him, but really we know nothin's gonna stop him...Who wants to know anyways?" Another voice was heard. Misaki pressed her ear against the door, trying to get a clearer idea of what they were saying.

"So he would be awake at night?" The first voice asked.

"Probably. Like I said he's a rascal, in't he?"

"Ah, that's not so convenient."

Unfortunately, she hadn't realized that it was the end of lessons, as Harry, Ron and Hermione were all staring at her, wondering what she was doing.

"Is everything ok?" Harry spoke first. This made Misaki jump.

"Eh? Me? Yes, quite alright thank you." Misaki laughed nervously.

"What are you doing with your head up against the wall like that? You're not listening to people's conversations, are you?" Hermione asked.

"What? Me? No! I wouldn't do such a thing."

"Who are you, anyway? And what are you doing in Hogwarts?" Ron raised an eyebrow.

"Me...I'm...I'm...I'm the...Ow!" The door suddenly swung open, hitting Misaki's head.

"What's all the racket about??" Argus Filch appeared.

"I'm the assistant caretaker!" Misaki leaped over to Filch and caught him in a nervous bear hug.

"Oh really? Thank Goodness. I always have to do all the work around here..."

"Yes! That's it! I assist this little man over here. I just had my head up against the door to...Measure the walls!"

"Measure the walls? What on Earth do you measure the walls fer?" Filch's eye's shifted towards the side.

"Um...Because the walls are wonky." Misaki blurted out. Argus Filch walked over to the wall, inspecting it intently. "Well I'll be damned. You're right! I couldn't have gotten that in a million years! I think we might just get along, you and I..." Filch rambled on. Misaki sweatdropped. "You have got to be kidding me." She mumbled.

Misaki sat on the roof of the enormous building. She sighed. "Why do I even bother coming here early?" She then heard the patter of footsteps, followed by a voice.

"Sorry I'm late, Anko was being a prick. So, you got caught?"

"Yeah. I suck as a ninja." Misaki looked down.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You haven't done this in a while." Kakashi smiled.

"True. I suppose being a pirate isn't the most subtle thing in the world. You'd get caught within the first 5 seconds 'cause you said 'Argh' too loud."Misaki said. Kakashi laughed.

"You found anything yet?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah. Someone was asking about Harry. They're planning to secretly kidnap Harry at night or something."

"Wow. Our first day here and we're already gathering information." Kakashi looked up.

"He just said 'So what can you tell me about Harry Potter?'"

"That's a bit blunt." Kakashi sweatdropped.

"Couldn't he have been a bit more...subtle?"

"He even left muddy footprints for us to track." She grinned.

"Do you have a sample of it? I can probably sniff him out from here." Kakashi said.

"Meh, here."

"I'll see you in the morning then. Don't get caught."


	10. Self defence

'thinking'  
"talking in english"  
_"talking in japanese"  
_**"kyuubi or an inner talking"**

Chapter 10 – **Self defence**

"So, I understand we have some new students with us..." Snape walked round the classroom, eyeing the new students. he stopped infront of Naruto, who's eyes were shut.

"Tell me, is my lesson boring you?" he asked Naruto, who then opened his eyes.

"No sir. I was just concentrating." Naruto replied.

"And that is how you concentrate... What is your name?"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Sir. Pleased to meet you." Naruto grinned. Snape looked at Harry, who was seated next to Naruto.

"Is he a friend of yours, Potter?" Snape squinted. Harry nodded.

'This boy could turn out to be quite troublesome then.'

"So...Naruto...Polyjuice Potion contains lacewing flies, stewed for how long?"

"21 days."

"Amortentia is derived from which two latin words?"

"Amor - to love, and temptere - to tamper with."

"Well done for not saying 'to tempt'. Do you find draught of Peace at all ironic?"

"It contains the ingredient hellenbore, which is infact poisonous." Naruto replied.

"Interesting...I must admit, I'm slightly impressed." Snape squinted again.

"Thankyou. Sir."

"So, the topic for today is the Confusing and Befuddlement draught. The effect of such a potion is similar to that of Confusing Concoction in that they both cause confusion..."Snape said in his usual monotonous voice, causing Kakashi to let out an iritated sigh.

"For goodness' sake..." he muttered underneath his breath. Snape heard him, paused for about a second, then continued.

It was the end of the lesson. Students either were packing up or leaving the classroom. Sakura walked up to Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, you were really good there. To be honest, I thought you were gonna get every question wrong."

"Yeah, well. This is important to me, you know?"

"Eh?"

"Well Tsunade-baachan says that if we do well here, we'll get a reward for it."

"Oh." Sakura looked interested.

"But really, Sakura-chan, thanks for studying with me. It really helped." Naruto smiled warmly.

"No problem." Inner Sakura smirked.

**"EGOBOOST!"**

Snape looked at the group. 'Inter-housal friendship? Interesting. Only...' he looked down to where Neji was. 'But there's a Slytherine. He can't be too friendly with them.'

"Naruto, well done." Neji said, walking up to Naruto.

"Neji! I didn't see you at all this morning!" Lee exclaimed.

"It's this inter-housal feud. These people seem to think that competitiveness and agressiveness are the same thing."

"What do you mean, 'These people'?" Ron looked at Neji.

"I didn't mean anything by it. Oh, and Ron?" Neji looked back at Ron. Ron gulped.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you on the train. I was just setting things straight, but it came out wrong." Neji turned to walk out of the classroom.

"I gotta go. Bye." Sakura turned, ran up to beside Neji.

"I told you Neji wasn't so bad," Naruto grinned.

"Even more interesting..." Snape muttered to himself.

"Hmm?" Kakashi turned around from his board wiping.

"Nothing. Just the idea of different houses getting along."

"Oh. What's so unusual about that?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, pupils are sorted out into houses according to their personality: Griffindors are brave, Ravenclaws are intelligent, Slytherines are far superior in every way, and Hufflepuff...Well I have no idea what they're all about. By the way, what house have you been asigned to?"

"Slytherine." Kakashi replied.

"Anyway, different houses don't normally get along well, as they have little in common. It' just interesting that your lot get along quite well, even though they're from completely different houses."

"Well that's probably because we mix them up."

"Why?"

"So that one person's strengths can make up for another person's weaknesses. Develops teamwork."

"I see."

* * *

"Wow… This is our first Self-defence lesson then…I wonder what it's gonna be like." Ron looked at the pile of weapons on the front desk, "Bloody Hell…"

"I have a feeling it's going to be a disaster." Hermione eyed the heap of weapons. "This is very dangerous, you know. Someone could get stabbed…" Hermione furrowed her eyebrows, "…Or sliced!" her face turned pale.

"Hey, these guys are trained experts…probably…they'll make sure no one gets hurt." Ron patted Hermione's shoulder.

"They're a couple of frivolous adults, Ron. How can you call them experts? They're so young! How long have they been in the teaching profession for? A year? Two years?"

"Well I must admit, When I first met you, I thought you were going to be one of those idiots with Potter and his gang, but now that you've been put into Slytherine, I'm forced to rethink my opinion." Malfoy said to Neji.

"I don't apreciate you mocking my friends, and no offence, but I'd rather hang out with a one-eyed moose than a desperate balding ponce like you."

"Yeah, you berk!" A random Slytherine called out. The Slytherins laughed. "You'll live to regret you said that." Malfoy glared at Neji before walking away to sit down.

Harry caught sight of Cho. "Hey, hi Cho. Um…I was wondering…well I mean you don't have to…well you know you've probably already been asked by someone else so never mind." Harry rambled on.

"Harry, If you're asking me to sit next to you then sure." Cho said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now budge up please."

"Does he fancy Cho or something?" Naruto whispered to Ron.

"Yes." Ron answered.

"It's really obvious." Naruto commented.

"Hey, Sakura! Come and sit here." Naruto called out to Sakura.

"Um…Naruto different houses don't normally sit together in lessons." Harry leaned forward.

"That's quite alright," Sakura nodded. "Hey everyone!" She yelled. All talking ceased. "Does anyone object to me sitting here with the Gryffindors just this once?" everyone shook their head. "Very well then." She sauntered over to Naruto and sat next to him.

"Cool, although, how did you hear me from all the way across the classroom? I was whispering."

"We have our ways…"Sakura said, smiling darkly.

"Whose 'we'?" Hermione asked.

"It doesn't matter." Sakura looked down to avoid people's eyes.

"But anyway, it's not their experience that worries me, it's what they're like. The guy freaks me out. With his pale complexion, eyepatch, crazy hair, and he's in Slytherine. I'm afraid he'll be like, another Snape." Harry creased his forehead.

"What? Kashi-sensei? But he's so cute and bubbly." Sakura protested.

"And cute." Cho added.

"And really cute." Luna said from behind.

"And sexy." Cho grinned. Everybody sweatdropped.

Suddenly, the door broke down, hitting the ground with an awesome 'smash'. A lady in a trenchcoat and a purple ponytail stepped into the classroom. She eyed the pupils, before opening her mouth to speak.

"Right, you maggots, I've been lookin' around and quite frankly, everyone in this room, except for me, is lacking serious skill in this subject. You need to be toughened up. You need to learn to be less…sissy. And that's where I come in." she scribbled awhile on the blackboard. "I'm Anko Mitarashi. I'll be your self defence teacher this year." The shionobi sweatdropped.

"Uh…Anko?" everyone turned to face the doorway. There, the man with spiky hair and an eyepatch was standing.

"What did you do to the door?" he pointed towards the floor.

"What makes you think _I_ did anything to it?" Anko huffed.

"You're Anko. Of course you did something to it! I mean, come on. You're so destructive! You're like Japanese Hitler." This comment gained a few held back laughs and muffled sniggers.

"…Fair do's"

Kakashi then entered the classroom, looking either in deep thought, or just really grumpy. "Anyway, morning everybody, I'm Kakashi Hatake, though I really don't care what you call me. Just not 'Professor Hatake'. It just maks me seem old…And I am NOT old. I don't really see a need to write it on the board either, I mean it's two syllables repeated followed by a 'shi'..." Kakashi realized he was rambling on.

"So, shall we begin?" he smiled his signature smile.

Neville raised his hand. "Erm…Professor Hatake-"

"Kakashi." Kakashi interrupted.

"Okay, Kakashi. What are those weapons doing on the desk?" he pointed.

"You'll see. Now guys, everytime you put your hand up can you say your name first so we can remember them? Right, so you're in a forest, or something…and some werewolf attacks you, what do you do? Yes?" he pointed towards the Ravenclaw table.

"Cassandra. You'd…fight it?"

"How?"

"With spells."

"And how would you cast those spells?"

"Erm…with a wand?"

"Right, Cassandra, but what if you didn't have a wand?" Kakashi asked.

"impossible. I bring my wand with me everywhere I go."

"Well, what if you didn't have it?"

"I always have it though!"

"Well what if you forgot to take it one morning?"

"I would never forget!"

"Okay! Say you were using it against the werewolf, and the werewolf ate your wand. _Then_ what would you do?"

Cassandra spent a while thinking.

"You don't know, do you? Well that's what we're here for. Self defence is basically about fighting when your wand is inaccessible. So this pile of weapons here is what we'll be using during the year." He walked over to the front desk and picked up a kunai. "this is a kunai. Now see that target at the back of the room?" The pupils turned to face the back of the room. "In time, you should be able to hit it with ease." He threw the kunai, causing it to hit the target right in the middle. The pupils gasped.

"Bloody Hell, that was amazing!" Ron whispered.

"Then we have shuriken." Anko grinned a dark, evil grin. "These are actually very good for fooling enemies, as you can use them to turn corners, a bit like a tiny, metal boomerang with tiny spikes on it. Example…" Anko threw the shuriken at the target, however just as it was about to hit, it turned and headed straight back for Anko, who then caught it on her finger. The pupils applauded.

"Ah, then we have throwing needles. These are incredibly useful when there is more than one enemy around you, although women and feminine men are the main users. So Kakashi, would you care to demonstrate?" the pupils giggled.

"Haah- you're just jealous 'cause I'm prettier than you." Kakashi mumbled. He held six needles between his fingers, and held his hands up. "Six needles, six targets around this room." He threw the needles, each landing in one target around the room.

"Those are the three main weapons we'll be studying this term. If you get good enough we may move on to nunchucks too."

"Will we ever move onto katana?" Tenten asked.

"It depends how good you get." Kakashi turned around. "Hey wait a minute-when did you…" He whipped his head back only to see an empty chair.

'I must be going crazy.' Kakashi thought to himself.

* * *

Dumbledore was looking through some important documents, when heard a knock on his door. "Come in." he called. Kakashi and Anko stepped into the room.

"Sorry to disturb you. We just found out something and thought you might like to know." Kakashi said.

"Misaki heard some wizard talking to Filch the other day, asking about Harry." Anko began.

"Does this mean Voldemort's back?"

"I'm afraid it does. Not to worry though. We'll take care of it." Kakashi smiled charmingly.

"We can't confirm who he's working with, but Jiraiya should be currently working on it. Though, we haven't heard from him in a while." Anko said.

"Well thankyou for sharing that with me. Keep up the good work." Dumbledore said.

"Thanks." Kakashi closed the door behind them.


	11. Forbidden Forest

'thinking'  
"talking in english"  
_"talking in japanese"  
_**"kyuubi or an inner talking"**

Chapter 11 – **The Forbidden forest In the staff room**

**The Forbidden forest**

Kakashi quietly slipped through the window into Harry's dorm and looked around. He walked over to Harry's bed, checking that he was asleep

"Wake up." Kakashi whispered.

"I'm awake." Naruto's eyes shot open.

"We should go. If we leave now for the forbidden forest, we'll make it in time."

Harry opened his eyes. His scar was throbbing like never before. He looked around the room, trying to move his head as little as possible. He then spotted the figure he had seen on the first night back. He then heard whispers.

"Naruto, be careful. You nearly stood on me."

"Oh, well watch where you stand. So is this Forest of death anything like the one we got at home?"

"It's the Forbidden Forest. And stop talking. you'll attract attention." Two silhouettes jumped out of the window.

'The forbidden forest?' Harry thought. He got out of bed and crept out of the dorm.

* * *

"Yo." Kakashi said calmly.

"Heya." Misaki replied.

"Have we gathered any info so far? Anything you say will go into the report." Kakashi said.

"Well I've sensed some hostility between Snape and Harry. They seem mortal enemies. Maybe Snape knows something." Neji offered. "He's a rather shady character, and though this is just an opinion, he might have something to do with this whole plot."

"True. I'll see if I can squeeze some information out of him, and maybe Dumbledore-sama can give me some background, but we need more than opinions. Kakashi, did you ever track down those footprints?"

"Yep, easy as pie. Their base is very near here, though I don't think we should infiltrate it just yet." Kakashi replied.

"Umbridge is beginning to get quite suspicious now. Of us, and of Dumbledore. She isn't teaching the pupils any spells or magic of any sort and she has very strange ways of punishing people. In detention she makes people write in their own blood. Naruto's wounds heal quicker than the average person's so she may blow our cover if she ever finds out." Anko said.

"So Naruto, don't get into any trouble **with Umbridge**." Anko told Naruto.

"I think it's important to let you guys know what we're dealing with. Me and Sakura-chan got some background information about Voldemort. His name was originally Tom Riddle. He's said to be the most powerful wizard by far, having killed over a hundred people." Naruto began.

"His aim is to destroy all muggles, sparing only pure-bloods, a bit like Hitler in wizard form. That means that if he is as strong as people say he is, then not only would Hogwarts be in trouble, but so would the five great shinobi nations." Sakura continued.

"Harry Potter is the only one who can stop him, so that is why it's his goal to kill him." Lee finished.

Harry stood listening behind a tree. There were too many trees in the way for them to see him, but he was just close enough to hear their voices faintly.

'It's Naruto and the others. And that caretaker, and the japanese teachers. They're talking about me?'

Suddenly, there was a poof. It was Jiraiya.

"Hey guys!"

'How did he just apparate there?' Harry asked himself.

"Hentai-san…"Misaki stared at Jiraiya. "Where have you been?"

"Why? Did you miss me?" Jiraiya asked.

"No." Misaki replied bluntly. "Sorry."

"I heard you got caught."

"Yes. I am now Mr. Filch's assisstant."

"So does that make me the only phantom left?"

"Yes. Now please answer my question. Where have you been? I was getting slightly worried about you."

'She was worried about me…' Jiraiya was about to start daydreaming, but then managed to quickly snap himself out of it.

"Uh, I stayed behind to question some people at the Leaky cauldron. Turns out that a few weeks ago some strange looking people wearing headbands with musical notes on them came in asking them for directions to Hogwarts. There was even one who was completely bandaged from head to toe." Jiraiya replied.

"I thought he was dead." Kakashi commented bluntly. An awkward silence filled the forest.

"So Orochimaru's in on this too." Kakashi thought out loud.

"But why would someone as powerful Orochimaru want to join forces with Voldy?" Anko asked.

"It's simple enough to guess. If Orochimaru kills Harry, then Voldemort will grant Orochimaru immortality. Although if the rumours about Voldemort are true, then if we fail our mission, Harry will die, Voldemort will try and double-cross Orochimaru and instead of giving him eternal life, will try to assassinate him, then Orochimaru will kill Voldemort. Still, that's not so bad for a worst-case scenario." Kakashi looked up at the sky.

"You've got this whole thing planned out, haven't you?" Anko looked at Kakashi.

'They're going to kill me?'

"Oh, and They were originally thinking of kidnapping Harry at night, so-"

'They're going to kidnap me?' Harry panicked, and stepped back, accidentally stepping on a twig, alerting the shinobi.

"Harry…" Misaki drawled. The shinobi were about to get up, before Kakashi raised his hand. "I'll sort it." He said.

'Shit, they've heard me!' Harry turned to run but bumped into Kakashi. Harry looked up into his emotionless, unreadable face. His eyepatch was gone, but his left eye was still covered by his hair.

'What is he thinking?' Harry thought. He took his wand out, pointed it at Kakashi and started stepping back. "Don't come any closer…Or else!" Harry threatened in a shaky voice. Kakashi looked at the wand, reached out and took hold of it, gently pulling it out of his hand. Harry felt completely helpless, and even more afraid than he was when he was up against Voldemort.

"How long have you been here?" Kakashi asked. Harry tried to run the opposite direction but only ended up bumping into Kakashi again.

'When did he…' Harry thought. Kakashi grabbed his shoulders and pinned him up against a tree, bruising his shoulder slightly.

"How long have you been here?" Kakashi asked again.

"Who are you really and what do you want with me? Are you Deatheaters-"

"Harry." Kakashi snapped, leaning in closer so that their noses were almost touching. "I'm beginning to lose my patience. How long have you been listening to our conversation?"

Harry sighed. "Since Lee started talking about why Voldemort wants to kill me." Harry replied. Kakashi sighed. "phew…"

"Are you going to kill me now or something?"

"I'm not a deatheater, Harry. This is all just a really strange dream." Kakashi said in a soft, calm voice.

"A dream?"

"Yup, just a really strange dream…" Kakashi smoothed his hair back to reveal a closed left eye with a long, deep scar running down it. He then opened his eye, revealing a brilliant red iris, with three black dots inside it, spinning round the pupil. Harry was terrified. His legs suddenly started to feel weak and eventually Harry collapsed. Kakashi had just caught him before he hit the ground. Harry stared at Kakashi's eye for a few seconds before falling unconscious.

Harry woke up in his bed. A cold bead of sweat folled down his cheek. He looked around. Everything was normal. Naruto was still asleep in his bed. He'd figured what happened had to have been another dream, even though it all seemed so real.

"That was close." Misaki said from the rooftop, looking down through the window into the dorm.

"How come we didn't sense him sooner? And how come we were talking in English?" Kakashi asked himself.

"It doesn't matter now. Your sharingan worked, didn't it? He thinks it was all just a dream." Misaki replied.

"This can't happen again. We need to be more careful next time." Kakashi concluded. "Can you watch over Harry until morning?"

"Alright, alright. Don't get your knickers in a twist. Oh, now I've got a bad image in my head." Misaki sighed.

**In the staff Room**

It was 6:00am. Misaki walked into the staffroom with a broom in her hand. She walked over to a chair and lay the broom down on it. When she turned round she found Snape sitting on a chair , drinking a cup of coffee, looking absolutely miserable. She sweatdropped.

"Snapey-san, if you don't mind me saying, you look absolutely miserable." Misaki said.

"I am." Snape replied.

"Why?" Misaki asked.

"I am always miserable." Snape answered. Misaki sweatdropped again.

"And it's Snape."

"Of course." Misaki had been calling him 'Snapey-san' for ages. She wasn't going to stop, besides, he should've gotten used to it by now.

"I didn't expect to find you here so early in the morning. I mean, you don't really seem like a morning person." Misaki smiled.

"And I'm not. I couldn't sleep. Care for a cup of coffee?" he drawled.

"Go on then." She said. Snape handed her a cup. "So why couldn't you sleep?" Misaki asked.

"That's my business." Snape spat out.

"Suit yourself." She mumbled, taking a small sip of coffee. There was an awkward silence.

"I've been having these recurring nightmares…"

"About your father?" Snape's head snapped up. "How did you know that?"

Misaki blinked. "To be honest, it was a complete guess."

"Oh…Well…ah…" There was another awkward silence.

"Snapey-san?"

"Snape. Yes?"

"Have you ever considered changing your wardrobe?"

"No. Why?"

"Well you always seem to be wearing the same thing everyday."

"Yes. Yes I do. I do and so does everybody else. Everybody else except you, that is, because it's uniform, and we keep school rules. We don't go around openly breaking rules, wearing elaborate pieces of clothing and a jewellery…overload, like you." Snape took a sip of his coffee.

'Who are you, my great uncle?' Misaki looked down at what she was wearing: black skinny jeans with a checkerboard lining, a pac man t-shirt, a green coat with darkest pink pinstripes and a furry lining, and the golden moonshoes she had previously bought in Topshop for £60.

"At least I look good breaking the rules." Snape chuckled ever so quietly. Yes, he did like her sense of fashion but let's face it; he was never going to admit it.

"'Course you do, dear." He said 'sarcastically'. Misaki stared at Snape wide eyed.

"Did you just call me a deer?"

"Ha ha very funny – no. I think that whoever actually listens to what I say will realise that I use 'dear' in quite a lot of my speech. Particularly with you and your friends since I can't pronounce your names properly without sounding like a dimwit."

"Fair enough." Misaki looked at the clock. "It's seven o'clock already? Oh, I gotta meet Filch in that little cupboard of his. See you." She picked up the broom and left.

* * *

**A/N: OMG dudes! I've just realized that part with Harry and Kakashi kinda sounds a bit slashy. Well it's not meant like that. Oh, and for those who asked, it's not going to be Kakasaku. I can't be bothered for all that. I just can't. Oh, and I hope you liked the Boosh references in previous chapters. I coudn't think of what bad dream Anko could have so I just put down the first line to the hitchers song from series 1. Though, mark my words, there will be more Boosh refrences!! maybe soup next...Oh! And disclaimers!! I keep on forgetting them! Well, I don't own Naruto, Harry Potter, The Mighty Boosh, One Piece, or anything else in the book. Apart from Misaki. I do own her. Kk, see you guys later! Hope you enjoy!**


	12. Blood

"talking english"  
_"talking japanese"  
_'thinking'  
**"kyuubi or any sort of inner talking"**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, Harry Potter or The Mighty Boosh.**

Chapter 12 – **Blood In the Staff room**

**Blood**

It was a free period**. **The Potter pals and Japanese wizards were gathered on the roof of Hogwarts.

"Bloody Hell."

"Wow." Naruto drawled.

"The view up here is amazing." Sakura stared from the roof of the building in awe.

"It most certainly is." Harry smiled.

"Are you sure we're allowed up here?" Hermione asked.

"No." Ron replied. Hermione sighed.

"Nevertheless…"

"Why? Why do they shield us from such youthfulness! Is it because they themselves are unyouthful, and they want to save the youth for themselves? Oh! How cruel! How selfish! How…Youthless!" Lee wept. The shinobi sweatdropped for the 1,057,639,953rd time since they had arrived.

"So are you guys settled in yet?" Ron asked the shinobi.

"Well, more than we were three months ago." Sakura replied.

"Well the Yuletide ball's coming up soon. You guys got dates yet?" Hermione asked.

"Well, I've been asked quite a number of times." Neji said.

"Couple of girls asked me. Weird huh? I wonder what she sees in me." Naruto mused.

"We all do, Naruto-kun." Sakura patted Naruto on the back.

"It's a shame I had to reject them." Naruto looked up.

"You did what? Why?" Sakura asked.

"They scared me. Say, Sakura-chan, will you ditch your Ravenclaw date and go with me instead?" Naruto asked.

"Meh, okay." Sakura replied.

"Really?!" Naruto beamed.

"Yeah, sure. He's really annoying anyway. Even more so than you."

"Thanks Sakura-chan!"

"What about you, Lee?" Harry asked, not knowing what to expect.

"I got a date. Luna." Lee said.

"What? How?" Everyone chorused.

"I do not know. Maybe Japanese people are 'in' now." Lee said to himself. Everyone laughed.

"So Harry? You got a date?" Ron asked. Harry just smiled. "It's Cho, isn't it?"

"Yes." Harry beamed.

"Well what do we have here?" The seven turned around. It was Malfoy and his goons, Crabbe and Goyle.

"What do you want now, Malfoy?" Harry spat out.

"What I want, Potter, is revenge." Malfoy replied.

"Is this gonna take long? Your inflated head is blocking the sun." Naruto cussed. Harry looked at Naruto. 'How come all of their insults are better than ours?'

"I've had enough of you, Japanese wizards. I've been punched through a wall, made fun of, laughed at, and when I said that you'd live to regret it, I really meant it. Malfoy pointed his wand at Naruto. "Impedimenta." He jinxed Naruto, as he went flying through the air, and off the roof of the building, disappearing in the fog.

Kakashi and Umbridge were teaching some first years Defence against the dark arts. Misaki was just listening quietly at the back, eating some dango, as Filch wouldn't let her clean since she accidentally tripped over a stone and snapped one of his favourite brooms. "By the way, where's Patricia?" Kakashi asked.

"She's in her bed. This morning she was sick everywhere." A first year said.

"Ooh, tough. Well tell her get well soon from me." Kakashi smiled.

"Now let's do the register…" Umbridge said.

"Why? It's a waste of time. We've already established that Patty's the only one missing." Kakashi objected.

"We are doing the register; Patricia or no Patricia." Umbridge proceeded with reading the register.

"So then…Patricia's…..the only one……missing." Umbridge said. Kakashi smirked. Misaki decided to check up on how Snape and Anko were doing, and quietly opened the door.

"So, a hundred years ago, most spells were - Aaah!" Umbridge screamed.

"Professor, is everything alright?" Misaki asked.

"I just saw something orange fall from the roof and flit passed this window!" Kakashi and Misaki stared at eachother.

"Shit!" They both shouted in unison.

"I'll go!" Misaki rushed out of the room.

"I'll have you know, Professor Hatake-"

"It's Kakashi."

"**Professor Hatake**," Umbridge persisted, "That kind of language is not encouraged in this school."

"I'm aware of that and I apologise." Kakashi smiled.

"Do you mind telling me what that was all about?" Umbridge asked.

"Yes." Kakashi replied rather bluntly. Umbridge glared at him. "I mean, Misaki's a responsible adult, she can handle…whatever's going on up there."

"Very well…I'll just go to photocopy some sheets."

"And I'll watch over the class." She left the room. Kakashi paused for a moment. Kakashi then realised something.

"Oh wait you forgot your… " he called, "…Sheet." He looked at the class. "She's lying, isn't she?" The class nodded.

"The bloody…" He walked briskly out of the classroom, before going back.

"Don't do anything stupid, okay?" the class nodded again. "I trust you." He walked out again.

"_Naruto-kun! Don't do anything stupid!"_Sakura yelled.

Hermione gasped. "Malfoy, that's going too far!" she cried.

"Forget about Malfoy. Right now, someone needs to save Naruto." Sakura said.

"It's impossible. None of us have our broomsticks!" Ron panicked.

"_But surely Naruto'll be alright." _Neji said to Sakura.

"_Yes, but if he makes it, we'll blow our cover."_

"Shit, I really didn't think this through!" Neji yelled.

"I'm afraid he's done for now." Malfoy smirked.

"I don't think so." Malfoy turned around. There Misaki was standing, with a stick of dango in her mouth. "Step aside, blondie."

"What exactly are you going to do? You have no broom!"

"I have other ways." She embedded a kunai into the ground, then ran and jumped off the side of the building, following Naruto into the fog.

"Is she crazy?" Hermione muttered.

Sakura noticed a string following Misaki off the side of the building.

"Chakra strings?" Sakura muttered.

"What?" Ron noticed the strings. "She used strings to keep her from falling? What is she thinking?" Ron exclaimed.

"These strings are incredibly strong and almost unbreakable." Sakura explained. 'Only puppeteers and shapeshifters are able to create chakra strings out of the blue like that. Mi-chan, you must be very skilled.' She thought.

"Malfoy, what's wrong with you?" Harry looked at Draco, shocked.

"I kept telling you Potter, one day you'd live to regret what you've done to me. Don't tell me you thought I was bluffing?"

"But this is going too far! How dare you do something like that to my friend." Harry glared at Malfoy.

"He was your friend was he? Please, who exactly would want to be friends with a geeky, lonely sap with decay for parents?" Malfoy sneered. That was it. No one talked about his parents like that. He saw a knife in the ground next to his feet, and instead of questioning why it was there in the first place, he picked it up and charged at Malfoy.

"I'll kill you!" He yelled. Malfoy also saw a kunai next to his feet, and seized the opportunity to defend himself.

"You're going down, Potter." Malfoy said in a low, quiet voice, charging back at Harry.

"No, Harry! Don't do it!" Hermione screamed. Harry ignored Hermione's warnings and continued to charge.

"Harry, don't be so stupid!" Ron too was ignored by Harry. It was only until the last moment, where the kunai were just about to hit them, that he realised how idiotic he was being. He tried to stop, but it was too late. His arm could not stop moving forward, no matter how much he tried to restrain it. He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing what was going to happen, but desperately hoping it didn't. He felt his kunai break skin.

'What have I done?' he thought. He then realised that he was not hurt in any way. He slowly, reluctantly looked up. The first thing he saw was his own kunai. Then he realised that there was a hand clutching onto the blade. He followed the hand to find Kakashi in all his emotionless glory. He had once again gotten rid of the eyepatch, but his eye was still unable to be seen through his hair. His coat blew in the wind, a bit like David Tenant's in those 'Doctor Who' Posters.

Both Harry and Malfoy were so shocked that they wouldn't let go when Kakashi tried to rid them of the kunai, making it a bit more of a struggle than it should have been. He eventually snapped out of it, then smiled, grateful and relieved that he had been stopped.

Kakashi was so relieved that he made it in time, that he had only just noticed that both his hands had been impaled by kunai. When he had finally realised, he flinched slightly, before returning to his usual, easygoing disposition. Harry noticed the flinch, then looked down at his hands, seeing dark red blood trickle slowly down his hands and drip onto the stone floor. The shock and guilt he had previously felt suddenly came back. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what.

"Kashi-sensei!" Sakura ran up to the three. "_Are you alright?"_

"_I missed…" _Kakashi mumbled.

"_What?" _Sakura said.

"_I was aiming to grab hold of their wrists…but…"_ Kakashi looked at his bloodstained hands. _"It was weird…like my right eye was seeing something completely different to the sharingan."_

Sakura stared for a moment before saying, "_Let's not talk about this here. If we don't stop the bleeding, you'll die."_

"_True. There should be a little first aid kit in my coat pocket."_ Sakura proceeded to aid Kakashi.

"Wow, he's fast. I didn't even see him come." Hermione said.

"That was so cool! He got stabbed and he's not even showing an ounce of pain." Ron said. "Wow."

Naruto hit his arm, grazing it against a brick that was jutting out of the side of the building. He slowly drifted away from the side of the building, finding it even harder to grab onto it.

'Maybe if I…' He reached out behind him. 'Damn, I forgot I took off my kunai pouch! Okay, focus Naruto, focus all the chakra to your feet…' he felt himself gently drifting back towards the building, and then he felt his feet touch the side, skidding down the building a while before gradually halting to a stop. He sighed. That was close. A rock suddenly hit him on the head.

"Ow! Okay, now how can I get back up? I hope someone comes to rescue me. If they don't I'll have to pretend I died. Well if that happens at least I can still be a phantom with Ero-sennin…" he said to himself.

"Naruto-kun!" he heard a voice say. He then saw Misaki running down the mountain towards him.

"Be careful, sometimes rocks fall down from up there and hit you on the head." He warned.

"What?" She turned around as a sharp rock hit her above her eyebrow.

"Ow!"

"Well at least now we match…" Naruto smiled.

"Naruto-san, are you hurt?" Misaki asked worriedly.

"Well I hit my arm when I was falling, and stubbed my toe, and then a rock hit me on the head. And my chest really hurts from when Malfoy pushed me off…" Naruto answered.

"Ah, good. Can't have you with no injuries now, can we?"

"Gee, thanks. What about you?" Naruto asked.

"I got a cut on my forehead. That's all I need." Misaki caught sight of her chakra string falling passed her.

"Someone cut my strings!" She exclaimed. "Right, now when we get up there, look tired, scared and injured. Okay?" Misaki told Naruto.

"Got it." Naruto responded.

"I hope they're alright…." Ron furrowed his eyebrows.

"What exactly is going on here?" They turned around to find Umbridge, standing a few meters behind them with her hands on her hips.

"Oh, um…" Harry began.

"And get away from the edge. It's dangerous there!" She chided. The wizards scampered away from the edge. She then caught sight of Kakashi.

"How come you arrived here before me?" she asked.

"I know a shortcut."

"Aren't you supposed to be looking after the class?"

"Aren't you supposed to be photocopying something?"

Umbridge glared at Kakashi.

"Miss Haruno, what are you doing?"

"I'm giving Kakashi-sensei first aid." Sakura said. Umbridge then looked around.

"Good lord, Kakashi! Your hands are all bloody! What on earth…Where's Miss Misaki? Didn't she come up here to sort you lot out?" Umbridge stared in horror.

"Um…she did, but-"

"So where is she?"

"Well, she kinda…jumped off the edge of the building." Harry replied.

"What? That crazy woman. Why ever did she do that?"

Just then, she caught sight of a hand clutching onto the edge.

"What is that?" She cried. The wizards turned around.

Misaki pulled herself back onto the roof, with Naruto on her back. She lay Naruto down on the ground, panting.

"_Naruto-kun! Mi-chan! Are you okay?" _Lee asked.

"_Yeah, yeah. We're fine." _Now which idiot cut my chord?" Misaki asked, looking pissed off.

Sakura noticed the absence of chakra strings, then looked at Malfoy.

"Either Harry or Draco did when they took those kunai." She said.

"None of you should have been up on the roof anyway. I'm afraid I'm going to have to deduct ten points from each of your houses. That's 10 points from Raven claw, 10 points from Hufflepuff, 40 points from Slytherin and 40 points from Griffindor. Plus I am going to have to give Mr Draco and Mr Potter detentions. You are to repor-"

"I'll take the detentions, thankyou." Kakashi interrupted.

"I think I'll do a better job than you, no offence meant." Umbridge said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were **you **impaled by them?" Kakashi asked. Umbridge glared at Kakashi.

"Very well then. I'll leave you to sort them out." Umbridge walked off.

"The bloody cheek." She muttered to herself.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." Umbridge entered the room.

"Professor Umbridge! How can I help?" he asked.

"I've come to say, that I don't think it is a good idea having these Japanese wizards in Hogwarts."

"Why ever not?"

"They are influencing the other pupils around them to misbehave. Not one minute ago, they were on the roof, messing around with Harry Potter and some other people. The teachers are as bad as the children, if not worse, especially Professor Hatake. Oh sorry, I meant 'Kakashi." She scowled.

"Well what's wrong with Kakashi?" Dumbledore furrowed his eyebrows.

"He's disrespectful, arrogant, a smart alec, frivolous, makes sarcastic comments about everything, he's not fit to teach a lesson, he's too lenient on the children, what, with letting people address him by his first name, he's too young, and he uses foul language in class." Umbridge complained.

"What bad language?" Dumbledore was curious.

"Today, he said…Sugar Honey Ice Tea." Umbridge replied.

"Oh. That's quite shocking. However, I'm sure he had a good reason. He seems quite a charming young man to me. Very charming, in fact. He's smart and intelligent. I think it's good to have one or two young teachers in this school, since they're hip and cool, or what have you. The pupils like him and they listen to him. That's not such a bad thing, is it?" Dumbledore opposed.

"Professor Dumbledore, either he goes, or I go." She threatened.

"I'm sorry, Professor Umbridge, but I have a number of reasons why I must keep Kakashi and the Japanese wizards in the school."

"Like what?"

Dumbledore paused. "I just told you! Now good day, Professor Umbridge. I'm afraid I have pressing matters I must attend to." Dumbledore said.

"Professor Dumbledore…One day…You will **severely** regret this." Umbridge stormed out of the room, passing Snape entering Dumbledore's office.

"Oh hello Severus! Care for a lemon drop?" she overheard Dumbledore say.

"The bloody cheek!" Umbridge scowled.

**In the staff room**

The children were having lunch, and the teachers were chilling out in the staff room.

Kakashi and Anko entered the staff room.

"Goodness Gracious, Kakashi, what happened to your hands?" He heard Minnerva say.

"Got impaled, nothing serious." He replied.

"Nothing serious? They're all bandaged!" Minnerva fretted.

"Would you like a coffee?" Misaki asked.

"I'll have one." Anko said. Misaki handed Anko a cup. The two sat down.

Anko began tapping on her cup with her spoon.

"That rhythm sounds familiar…." Misaki said.

"I know." Anko replied.

There was a silence for a couple of minutes, until Anko broke it by starting to hum.

"You really are obsessed, aren't you?" Kakashi said to Anko.

"What do you mean?" Anko looked at Kakashi.

"You were humming the tune to 'Soup' weren't you?"

"I think you're the obsessed one, Kakashi. Soup has no tune." Anko replied.

"Yes it does."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"But how **do **you feed a fish coffee?" Misaki interrupted. Everyone in the room stared at Misaki. There was another awkward silence.

"I dunno." Kakashi answered.

"Have you ever actually **tried** to feed a fish coffee?" she asked.

"No." Kakashi replied.

"Oh." She looked slightly disappointed.

"You get a cup of coffee, then dunk the fish in." Anko said.

"No." Kakashi objected.

"Why not?"

"It'll die!" Kakashi stared at Anko.

"How? Coffee's 15/16 water, it'll be able to breath."

"But it'll get burnt!"

"Good point."

"You probably get a tiny bit of coffee, and put it in the tank." Kakashi explained.

"No, but fish don't like taste of sea-water, do they?" Anko said.

"Why would there be sea-water? It's a tank!"

"But there'd be sea-water IN the tank."

"But it's a tank!"

"Just…leave it, okay Kakashi? I don't care."

"I'm just saying that it's a tan-"

"I don't care, ok?"

"I know, I'm just saying-"

"I don't care!"

"I-"

"I don't care!"

"B-"

"Hey!" Anko snapped.

"I….Don't…. Care." There was yet another awkward silence. Anko then decided to brake it, like she did most things.

"Soup, soup,

A tasty soup, soup

A spicy carrot and coriander, chilli chowder!"

Kakashi then decided to join in.

"Crouton, crouton,

Crunchy friends in a liquid broth.

I am getspatchio, oh!

I am a summer soup, oh!"

Then Misaki joined.

"Miso! Miso!

Fighting in the dojo,

Miso! Miso!

Oriental friends in the land of soup!"

"You are so obsessed." Kakashi laughed.

"No, I'm not! It's a catchy song!" Anko protested.

"What do you see in them? These guys who call people cheeky vixens and ask them to get in their wheelbarrow…" He looked up at the ceiling. "I would, aswell…"

"Don't. I once got in a wheelbarrow… " Misaki said. "It tipped over and I fell in a rose bush…" Kakashi and Anko laughed.

"Hey, gimme a break. I was three!" she pouted.

"So, Hatake." Snape interrupted their little bonding session. "How did you impale your hands?"

"I don't want to go into any detail. Harry and Draco got into a fight, that's all."

"**They** did that to you?" Minnerva stared in awe. "Why didn't you report them to the headmaster?" she asked.

"Well what's fair in punishing someone twice for doing one thing wrong? Don't you think that's a bit tough on them?" Kakashi asked.

"Justice is tough, Hatake."

"Well, even if I haven't reported them, Umbridge probably has."

"Yes. Umbridge." The teachers chorused. They suddenly heard bickering voices outside the staffroom.

"Ah, that'll be them." Kakashi smiled. He walked towards the doorway and opened the door, finding the two teens, arguing again.

"Still not learned your lesson then?" Kakashi said, closing the door behind him.

"No! We have. We listened to the whole tape. And we didn't turn it off either. We couldn't find the pause button. And you locked us in the room, so we couldn't escape. And we're sorry for impaling you. It will never happen again-"

"It's not that I'm worried about. That was my fault. It's just the fact that you could've killed eachother up there. I mean… Hold on a sec." He opened the door abruptly, and there was a loud thud. Followed by a couple of "Ooow!"s and "My face!"s.

"Justice is tough, my friends." He called out. He then turned back to Harry and Malfoy. "Do you hate eachother so much that you'd stab them with a knife? I knew you guys didn't get along, but that's just ridiculous. You're on the same side, in reality. I really thought you'd have a bit more self control than that." Harry and Draco looked at their feet, generally feeling sorry for what they had done.

"You're lucky I didn't report you, but-"

"What?" they looked up.

"Hmm?"

"You didn't report us to Professor Dumbledore?" Harry asked.

"Well, no. I didn't see a need to. I don't need you anymore. Go and do what you like." The boys walked away. Kakashi walked back into a staffroom full of black eyes.

"They sounded really upset. What tape did you make them listen to?" Minnerva asked.

"It doesn't matter." Kakashi replied.

"Oh." Misaki froze. "Kakashi, y'know when we went to that bookstore and we saw that…that book?"

"Well, that is what you normally see at bookstores…But yes, I see what you're talking about." He smirked.

"You didn't buy it….the tape…did you?"

"Of course not." He smiled. Misaki sighed and took a sip of her coffee.

"I bought the sequel." Misaki spat out a mouthful of coffee then began choking, at which point Filch walked in. Misaki looked up at him, paused, and then hit her head lightly against the desk.

"Everyday I'm in here, cleaning out the mess some teachers make, and you mess it all up again! First you snap me favourite broom, and now you're spittin' out coffee onto me floor. Are you trying to make my life a misery?" he asked.

"Okay, I know you liked that broom, but…come on. It's a broom! I've even offered to pay for it. I've got a lot of money!" Misaki replied. Kakashi and Anko sweatdropped at her last statement.

"No amount of galleons will ever replace old Sally!" He said, almost in terars.

"Well you should have thought of that before you tripped me up. Learn to let go, Filch." Misaki stood up. "And as far as I'm concerned, you're lucky you have me. I get the floors polished in a matter of seconds, AND I can tell when the walls are wonky." She walked out of the room.

Kakashi then began marking some homework that had been handed in, when Umbridge walked in.

"Good Afternoon, everyone. Professor Hatake." Umbridge mumbled.

"Hn." Kakashi replied seeming very focussed on his marking.

"It's very nice weather out for December." She commented.

"Yes, it's just peachy." Kakashi said, still not looking up from his work.

There was yet another awkward silence.

"The only thing that spoils it for me is those pesky pidgeons. Rats on wings, we call them here." She laughed a fake laugh. Kakashi swivelled around on his chair, looked up at Umbridge, opened his mouth to speak, pausing for a moment.

"I don't like you." He stated, rather bluntly. Everyone in the room stopped and stared at the two.

"I'm sure you're a nice person really, I just don't like you. Though, to be disliked by me is really saying something. Someone almost killed me once and I liked him more than I like you. I just find you anoying and difficult to work with, and though I may tolerate you, I will never, ever like you. I just felt I had to be honest with you about my feelings, and normally I wouldn't be so blunt like I have just been, because I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it's different with you, as…I don't think you like me either. So don't pretend you do." Kakashi said innocently, before swivelling back to his marking. Umbridge stood, glued to her spot, eyes filled with rage. Kakashi swivelled round again.

"Yes, Kakashi? Is there something else you would like to add?" She said through clenched teeth.

"I think pigeons are cute." He swivelled round again, leaving Umbridge dumbfounded.

-

**A/N: Hey guys! How'd you like the Boosh reference in the middle? I just felt it needed to be put in.**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	13. Pineapples

"talking english"  
_"talking japanese"  
_'thinking'  
**"kyuubi or any sort of inner talking"**

Chapter 13 – **Pineapples.**

It was 6:00 am. Kakashi walked into the staffroom and made himself a cup of coffee. He turned round to find Snape sitting in a corner, staring into space.

"Couldn't sleep?" Kakashi asked.

"No. I could sleep. I just didn't feel like it." Snape replied blankly.

"Oh." Kakashi sweatdropped.

"By the way, are you always as blunt as you were yesterday?"

"No. I'm blunt when it's necessary." Kakashi answered.

"I see." Snape drawled.

"So do you ever sleep?"

"No." Snape replied, still staring into space.

"Hm. Me neither." Kakashi said.

"It's been a nicer year than I had originally expected." Snape commented.

"Yes. Naruto hasn't gotten into any serious trouble yet, so that's a relief." Kakashi sighed.

"He fell off a roof yesterday." Snape reminded Kakashi.

"Correction: Malfoy jinxed Naruto off the roof. That wasn't his fault. His only mistake was being on the roof in the first place," Kakashi explained.

"Why are you so focussed on making sure Naruto stays out of trouble?" Snape eyed Kakashi.

"Why are you so hostile towards Potter?" Kakashi retorted.

"He's a good-for-nothing scoundrel, just like his father." Snape snapped.

"What's wrong with his father?"

"He was a swine and a bully… and I was among one of his favourite victims." Snape spat out.

"Oh. Fair enough." Kakashi looked up.

"I made a bet with Anko that Sakura would be the first to get into trouble. She bet Naruto would." Kakashi said.

"Right. It all makes sense now." Snape took a sip of his own coffee. "I must admit, I was quite impressed when I found out how you became impaled."

"Everyone's been going on about that. It was nothing." Kakashi looked down at his feet, brushing some hair out of his eyes.

"You have a hole in your hand." Snape reminded.

"Not anymore. It's practically healed."

"Well anyway." There was a silence. Not an awkward silence, just a silence.

Kakashi giggled.

"Something particularly amusing, Hatake?" Snape scowled.

"No, no…Well yeah, actually. I'm just trying to imagine what you'd be like as a kid. I can't get this vision out of my head. A baby with your head on it, speaking in the same nasaly tone you have, 'Something particularly amusing, Hatake?'" Kakashi mimicked. He laughed for a long time, but stopped when he saw Snape grimace.

"Oh sorry, did I offend you?"

"No. I just don't like to think about my childhood." Snape replied.

"Oh. Rough, was it?"

"Well, as if my life at home wasn't enough, being the only muggle in Slytherine wasn't the easiest thing in the world, what with being hated by everyone around you…"He rambled on. "It doesn't mater. You wouldn't understand anyway."

"Wouldn't I?" Kakashi looked at Snape.

"What?"

"Oh look at the time. I gotta go. Anko won't kick her own arse at chess."

* * *

"What's on your mind, Harry?"

"What?"

"Well it's just that you've been acting really…deep in thought lately." Ron said.

"Oh right. It's just this dream I had a few nights ago."

"Oh really? Tell me about it."

"Well, all the japanese wizards had joined up with Voldemort, and were plotting to kill me. I got caught and…I saw behind Kakashi's eyepatch."

"Ooh? What did it look like?"

"He had a scar on his eye, and his iris…Well it was red, with black dots that looked a bit like commas, and they spun round his pupil. It was really weird." Harry explained. "The strange thing is, I woke up in bed later, but it all seemed so real, and my scar was throbbing like mad. Plus I bruised my shoulder in my dream, and it's still bruised."

"Well, normally I'd say that it was just a dream, but I've learned from experience that your dreams are normally quite accurate. We won't do anything, but we should stay on guard." Ron concluded.

* * *

"_Okay guys, is everyone here?" Sakura asked._

"_I think so…" Anko said. Suddenly there was a poof. The shinobi jumped back and each took out a kunai, ready to strike. Kakashi blinked a couple of times._

"_It's okay." He called out, as Shikamaru and Gai emerged from the smoke._

"_Kakashi! My eternal rival! I have come to aid you in your mission!" Gai struck a girly pose. Kakashi sweatdropped. 'At least he didn't do a dynamic entry…but still…what a poser.'_

"_Shikamaru! You little pineapple-head, what are you doing here?" Anko playfully punched his arm._

"_We were sent as phantoms to help Jiraiya gather information, since he's now the only one." Shikamaru replied._

"_Good, we can begin then." Anko nodded._

"_Gai-sensei!"_

"_Lee!"_

"_Gai-sensei!"_

"_Lee!"_

"_Ga-" Sakura punched both Lee and Gai._

"_Shut up! We don't want to alert anyone."_

"_Hey guys, maybe we should henge into a less conspicuous form." Shikamaru offered._

"_Good idea. We don't want to repeat what happened last time." Neji said._

"_So, what, mouse okay?" Jiraiya offered._

"_Yeah, mouse." The group transformed into mice._

"_Now, thinking back to that incident on the roof…" Misaki began._

"_Mi-chan, what actually happened there?" Anko asked._

"_Draco jinxed Naruto off the roof, Harry got angry, the two got into a fight, Kakashi stopped it." Misaki answered._

"_But isn't it strange?" Shikamaru asked._

"_I agree." Kakashi nodded._

"_What's strange?" Naruto asked._

"_Mi-chan, what did you do up there?" Kakashi asked._

"_I ,uh, jumped after Naruto."_

"_Right, and you embedded the kunai in the ground, attached to the chakra strings, which __**either**__ Harry or Draco broke when they took the kunai out of the ground. See what I mean?" Kakashi looked at Sakura._

"_I see now!" Sakura and Misaki came to a sudden realisation._

"_See what?" Naruto asked, slowly becoming impatient._

"_Think about it for a moment. Got it?" Kakashi asked._

"_I can't believe we didn't get it before." Misaki said._

"_What the heck are you talking about? I can't read minds!" Anko snapped impatiently._

"_Well, first of all, they're chakra strings. They don't just break like we thought it did." Misaki began._

"_Second of all, Misaki embedded __**a **__kunai into the ground." Sakura continued._

"_So where the heck did the second kunai come from?" Shikamaru asked._

"_Well here's what I think. There was a talisman attached to the second kunai, which was a few metres infront of Misaki's. That must have been what broke the strings." Kakashi explained._

"_That kunai must've come from one of Orochimaru's men."_

"_But why would a ninja use a talisman to break the strings when they know fully well that chakra strings must have been made by another ninja, who infact can walk up walls, therefore doesn't actually need chakra strings anyway?" Kakashi asked._

"_So…what does that mean?" Jiraiya asked._

"_It means," Kakashi begun, "that the Sound ninja are teaching Voldemort's men a couple of our techniques." The group then heard squawking coming from above._

"_It's and owl…RUN!" The mice scattered in all different directions._


	14. Yuletide Ball

Chapter 14 – **Yuletide ball**

The teachers were talking in the staffroom. Snape entered.

"Morning everyone." He said cheerfully.

"Morning Snape." The teachers chorused.

"Coffee?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, I think I shall."

"You're in a good mood today." Anko commented.

"Yes, I suppose I am. Well, must dash, I've got a detention to supervise." Snape walked out.

"Why is he so happy?" Minnerva asked.

"I dunno." Anko replied.

Umbridge then walked in. "Morning everyone."

"Morning Umbridge. Coffee?" Kakashi asked.

"Very well."

"Milk and no sugars, right?"

"Yes, that's right. Why are you being so nice to me?" Umbridge eyed Kakashi.

"Why not?"

"I thought you disliked me."

"Well I do. But that doesn't mean I hate you." Kakashi handed her a cup.

Snape walked in again.

"That was quick. Misaki said.

"Yes. You know Kakashi, your method of punishment is quite effective."

"I know, right?" Kakashi beamed. Misaki felt the dreadlines creeping onto her forehead.

"Naruto will never talk in my lessons again."

"What? Naruto?" Kakashi stared in horror.

"Yes. I gave Naruto a detention."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kakashi yelled.

"Haha, I was only joking." Snape walked out again.

"Oh."

"Blast." Anko said.

"So Snape knows, does he?" Misaki asked.

"Knows what?" Umbridge asked.

"Kakashi is Naruto's father." Misaki said.

"What?" The teachers in the room chorused.

"Only joking. Hehehe." Misaki giggled.

"Oh."

"No, Anko and I made a bet, that's all." Kakashi explained.

"Speaking of…that other bet" Misaki raised an eyebrow and leaned in.

"Yes? What about…that other bet?" he replied.

"Well I was just wondering when you were going to ask him."

"I'll ask him as soon as I see him." He asnswered before turning to Anko. "Do you want to change your decision while you still have the chance?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Anko said.

Dumbledore then walked into the room.

"Are you gay?" Kakashi asked. The teachers stared at Kakashi.

"Yes." Dumbledore replied.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Anko yelled. Kakashi smirked.

"Anyway, I was coming to remind you all that the Yuletide ball is this evening. Don't think that just because you're a teacher, you don't have to attend!" Dumbledore chuckled and walked off."

"Are you always this blunt?" Umbridge looked at Kakashi. Kakashi smiled.

"I think you owe me 100,000 yen, Mitarashi." Kakashi said.

"Okay, okay. Here you go." Anko reluctantly placed the money in his hand.

* * *

It was the Yule ball.

Naruto, Neji and Lee were dressed in their dress robes with Harry. Ron came with Hermione, who was in a green dress, while Sakura went with a cream, short-sleeved dress with a couple of black stripes.

"Hey Ron, I didn't know your date was Hermione."Naruto said.

"We couldn't be asked to get other dates."

"Neji, do we have to hang around with all these losers?" Neji's date asked.

"No. We don't." They walked off.

"Well that was harsh." Ron commented.

Dumbledore stood up, gathering everyone's attention.

"Thankyou for all coming. I would like to introduce our guests of honour, who very kindly came all the way from Japan to be here. It's The headmistress of Konoha Academy of Wizardry, Tsunade, Shizune and Danzo." The pupils clapped. 'Wowza' was what most boys were thinking.

"Oh, it's Baa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, looking at Tsunade in a flowing blue dress, and Shizune, in her black one.

"Now carry on."

"Hey guys, let's go and meet them!" Naruto suggested.

"Naruto, don't be ridiculous! This is the head we're talking about. We can't just walk up to them and…" Hermione protested.

"Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto hugged Tsunade, causing jealous looks coming from most of the school. Hermione stared, dumfounded, along with the other wizards.

"Naruto! How are you? Have you been good?" Tsunade asked.

"Especially. I know this is important, so I've made no mistakes." He replied.

"Oh." Tsunade looked disappointed. 'That's not good. Kakashi will win everything at this rate!' She thought.

"Konbanwa, Tsunade-shisou." Sakura bowed.

"Hey Sakura. Punched anyone yet?" Tsunade asked.

"One person." She answered.

"Anyway, let me introduce you to my friends." Naruto grabbed the trio.

"This is Harry, Ron, Hermione, Cho and Luna. Guys, this is Tsunade."

"Pleased to meet you." Tsunade said. "Have you seen Kakashi?" Tsunade looked around.

"Yo." Kakashi appeared next to Tsunade, wearing a long, really dark blue coat, a dark sea-green vest with an upright collar and buttons going down it, his black jounin trousers and instead of his bandages and sandals, black boots.

'I feel like I'm in a costume drama.' He thought.

"Kakashi-kun! You look so nice! I could never get you to dress up for anything…Ahem…Anyway, I believe you have something for me."

"Yeah, here you go." He handed a folder over to Tsunade.

"Wow. You never hand things in on time." Tsunade stared at the folder.

"Well, you're never sober, but hey…"

"What was that?" Tsunade glared at Kakashi.

"Your hair looks nice." He commented. Tsunade sighed.

"Honestly, you used to be so polite when you were little. 'Tsunade-chama, I never want you to leave. You're so pretty and nice…'" Tsunade mimicked.

"I never said that!" Kakashi looked at her incredulously.

"How would you remember anyway? You were like, eight." Tsunade commented.

"I remember. I said, 'It is a shame you'll be leaving Konoha. Your expertise in medicine and loyalty to the village will be pretty missed."

"Way to spoil someone's fantasy…" She grumbled. Kakashi then spotted Danzo.

"Danzo-san, It's not like you to attend a fancy thing like this." Kakashi smiled.

"I've come to keep an eye on you. And I'm not your friend so lose the tone and te suffix." Danzo replied. Kakashi gave Tsunade a 'Gimme a break' look. Tsunade shrugged in reply.

"Forgive me, Danzo" he said, drawing out the word 'Danzo'.

"Are you taking the mick?" Danzo glared at Kakashi. Kakashi gave another look to Tsunade, saying 'What the heck?'

"No, not taking the mick. I'm just...happy-"

"Happy? Hah! You are incapable of feeling anything, let alone happy. You're just good at feigning emotions. I bet the only genuine feeling you've ever had is anger." Danzo cut Kakashi off. "You see your face? That is the face of someone who can't remember what happiness is."

The wizards and shinobi looked at eachother.

'If that's true, then that would explain a lot of things.'

_'Harry looked up into his emotionless, unreadable face.'_

_'Kakashi in all his emotionless glory'_

Snape overheard the conversation. 'Incapable of feeling anything? Nonsense.'

"Anyway, go dance. Have fun." Tsunade said, breaking the deeply awkwark and disturbing silence.

* * *

"_Kakashi, I can explain about Danzo." Tsunade said after walking onto the balcony, where Kakashi was crouching on one of the rails._

_"Hm?" Kakashi looked back at Tsunade. "Good. Explain."_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** **That's it for today, guys. Hope you enjoyed!**


	15. Midnight Snack

Chapter 15 - **Midnight Snack**

The shinobi and Potter Pals were grouped together on the Gryffindor table. Misaki poked her head round the door, looked around then walked in.

"Hey. Uh...You haven't seen my sister this morning, or Kakashi, have you?" she gave a shifty look to the shinobi.

"Um, no, infact, Anko-sensei's surprisingly late today." Sakura replied as Malfoy walked past.

"Oh? You're sisters?" he asked. The group shifted slightly uncomfortably. Misaki, however, just smiled sweetly.

"Yes, that's right."

"Oh. You must be jealous." Malfoy looked down disingenuously.

"Why do you say that?" Misaki looked puzzled.

"Well because she's better than you. Has a higher ability, if you like."

Misaki sighed, looking slightly fed up. "Our 'ability' is exactly the same, thanks."

"Oh well how come she's got the job of teaching and you've got the job of sweeping floors?" Malfoy smirked slightly.

Misaki shrugged. "Well I could have had the job if I needed, but hey, she needs the money more. I don't, I have a lot of money." she said rather quickly. The shinobi sweatdropped at her last statement.

"Really? To be quite honest, I thing it's just that you're not very bright. You don't look very bright, and although your sister doesn't either, you look more dim than her." Malfoy raised an eyebrow. Misaki sighed again, lowering her head slightly. 'Don't worry, soon, it'll all be over.' she told herself. She turned around, ready to leave. "Well I must go now, but when you see them, tell them I was looking for them. It's quite important."

* * *

It was the end of the lesson. Pupils filed out of the classroom, while Harry stayed behind.

"Um, Kakashi?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Hm?"

"What are your thoughts on wandless magic?"

"Wandless magic? I don't know. Anything's possible I suppose. It doesn't seem likely, but then again I'm sure you didn't think wizards even existed until you came to Hogwarts. Why do you ask?"

"It's just this dream had...thanks anyway, bye."

* * *

"What a strange boy..." Kakashi thought out loud, in the staff room, a couple of hours later.

"Yup," Misaki sighed, resting her head on the table. "People like Malfoy annoy me. At least when the mission is over I can beat the sugar cubes out of him..."

"You wouldn't do that though." Kakashi smirked slightly.

"How do you know, hmm?" she asked.

"I just know. You're too..."

"hm? Too..." she interrupted.

"Too...eugh."

"Come on, little man. Think..."  
"Too, ach(1), gentle? I dunno-"

"GENTLE? Hah!"

"I'm not little either."

"Okay, I take it back."

"Thankyou. I still think you're quite gentle for a ninja." he grinned.

"Oh, cheers." She said sarcastically.

"So what's wrong with Anko? Cold? Flu? Pneumonia? Tuberculosis?" Misaki asked.

"No- hangover. She got really depressed last night and drunk herself silly." Kakashi answered.

"Ah." Misaki lay her hed on her hands, which were currently on the desk. "Say, Kashi-chan, what's the date today?" Misaki asked, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"17 January. Why?"

"Oh..." She drawled. "Hmmm..."

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing." Misaki said in a rather high pitched, teasing voice.

"Fine, don't tell me. I don't even want to know."

_"But I guess you're as good a person as any. I couldn't tell Naruto and the others since they seem to be always around the Potter Pals. I saw Jiraiya, Gai and Shikamaru this morning. They found out all of Voldemort's plans concerning Hogwarts. They could attack anytime from now."_

_"We should change our meeting place to inside the school, too."_

_"Yeah, but first, take it back." Misaki said. Kakashi grinned, shaking his head._

_"I'll pass the message on, somehow." Kakashi looked up, wondering how he would separate the shinobi without making it look suspicious._

The bell rang at the end of the DADA lesson. Pupils filed out of the classroom.

"Uh, Sakura, please stay behind for a while." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura walked up to the desk.

"Yes, um..." He looked up at Umbridge. "Uh, sorry, this is private." Umbridge huffed and walked out of the classroom.

_"Sakura, Voldemort could strike any moment from now. Please pass the message on, and our next meeting will be in school, in the kitchen. No one will find us there."_

_"Okay."_ She walked out of the classroom, where the others were waiting for her.

"What did he say?" Ron asked. Sakura put a solemn face on.

"We could be leaving very soon." The wizards looked shocked and disappointed.

"But you can't leave now! We've barely gotten to know eachother!" Hermione said.

"We've got our own schools to go to anyway." Neji said.

"But we will miss you guys. Anyway, we're not going just yet, are we? Let's have some fun." Naruto smiled.

It was midnight. Naruto got out of bed, ready to walk out of the door.

"What are you doing?" he turned round to find Harry, awake, squinting at him.

"Uh, hi. I was...just going to the kitchen...to get a midnight snack." he whispered.

"Ah, sneaky. Can I come?" Harry asked. Naruto gulped. "Of course."

"Cool. Let's wake up Ron and Hermione!" Harry whispered. Naruto sweatdropped.

"Hermione." Harry and Ron gently shook Hermione.

"What?" she grumbled.

"We're going to the kitchen to get a midnight snack. you coming?"

"And cause even more suffering to the house elves? I think not."

Naruto sighed in relief. "We could cook, ourselves." Harry said.

"Alright then." she agreed. Dreadlines formed on Naruto's face.

Using the invisibility cape, the four crept through the halls of the school. They saw a familiar figure walking in their direction.

"Hold on, who is that?" Ron asked.

"That's Filch's assisstant, isn't it?" Harry whispered.

"Harry, we're going to get caught!" Hermione panicked.

"No we're not, Hermione, remember, we're invisible. Just be as quiet as possible." Harry said. As they walked past, Misaki momentarily glanced at them, then looked away.

"Well that was bloody close!" Ron whispered. They then caught sight of Snape.

"Okay, same thing as last time. If Snape finds us, we really are dead. As they passed Snape, he looked at them, squinted and opened his mouth to say something.

"..."

"Hey Snapey-chan! Care for a pear drop?" Misaki suddenly jumped out of nowhere.

"Run!" Harry whispered, loud enough for Snape to hear.

"Ah-" Snape tried to stop them.

"Okay, don't have one. So anyway, what are you doing awake at this time of night?" she asked.

"I'm on duty, Dear. You've been here for four months, you should know. What are you doing up?" Snape asked.

"Why do you always say 'Dear' instead of my name?"

"Because I can't pronounce your actual name." The conversation went on for a couple of minutes. Snape was getting slightly irritated. Misaki was running out of questions to distract Snape. Harry and co. were just happy they made it.

As they approached the door, they heard voices. They slowly opened the door to find Anko and Kakashi...

"Give it to me Kakashi. Kakashi! Give...it...to...me."

The four stared in disbelief.

"GIVE ME THE DANGO!!" She reached for the dango, only for it to be pulled away at the last second.

"Like I'd ever give up the chance to see you suffer." he smirked a dark smirk, then ate the dango. Anko gasped.

"You are evil."

Kakashi laughed. he then caught sight of the four standing in the doorway.

"Ah- Ahem. And what do you suppose you're doing up?"

"We were sneaking out to get a midnight snack. It was wrong of us to ignore school rules and we will leave now." Harry backed away.

"I should think so. Before somene catches you again." The four left.

"Well that was weird..." Anko mused.

"I'll say..." Naruto appeared next to them.

"Won't your friends notice you're missing?" Anko asked.

"No. I sent a kage buunshin to stay with them."

"Good thinking." Kakashi patted Naruto on the head.

"Kay, so do you know where the others are?" Anko asked.

"We're here." Neji, Sakura and Lee appeared.

"So are we" Misaki appeared with Jiraiya, Gai and Shikamaru.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

The other shinobi proceeded to put on their sunglasses, to avoid being blinded, as the pair embaced eachother passionately infront of a super-bright sunset came out.

"Then let's begin." Anko grinned.

"Guys, guess who I saw when I sneaked into Voldy's hideout." Jiraiya said.

"Um, Voldemort?" Anko guessed.

"Yeah, and let me tell you, he's one ugly dude. But anyway, Voldemort could strike any moment from now, so we'd best be on our guard."

"Guys, we need a plan. Anyone got any ideas?"

"I got one. Here it is..."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chappie!!**


	16. Trelawney

Chapter 16 - **Trelawney**

"What's going on?" Harry asked, finding Cho and walking by her.

"It's Professor Trelawney." she replied woriedly.

The students gathered round Trelawny as Umbridge made her way through the crowd, brushing shoulders with Harry as the passed. She stood a few metres infront of the sobbing Trelawney. Trelawney walked up to Umbridge, accidentally kicking a piece of her luggage in the process.

"For 16 years, I've lived and taught here. Hogwarts is my home." she nearly burst out in tears. "You can't do this!"

"Actually I can." she put on a fake smile. McGonagall passed the crowd to comfort Trelawney.

"Something you'd like to say, dear?" Umbridge asked.

"Oh, there are several things I would like to say." McGonagall glared at Umbridge.

"Oh." she gave an unacknowledging wave of the hand. "It puzzles me why I didn't think of removing you from Hogwarts." she turned to face Kakashi and Anko. McGonagall drew a sharp intake of breath.

"You didn't think of it because it's not your decision, it's our academy's." Anko said.

"Anyway, firing me won't be necessary. I've already been called back to Japan. Our lesson will be replaced by a free period until this half-term, and our exchange students will keep attending lessons until the end of the week, when we leave. Satisfied?" Kakashi asked. McGonagall looked shocked. The doors then flung open behind them, and Dumbledore walked out.

"Professor McGonagall, may I ask you to escort Sybill back inside?"

McGonagall took Trelawney back inside.

Dumbledore, may I remind you that under the terms of educational decree number 23 as enacted by the minister, I-"

"You have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do not however have the authority to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster." Dumbledore cut Umbridge off.

"For now" she smirked. Dumbledore paused, then turned to face the students.

"Don't you all have some studying to do?" He yelled causing the crowd to disperse.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry yelled a number of times, though he was not heard. He watched as Dumbledore disappeared into the crowd.


	17. Sieze!

Chapter 17 - **Seize**

"What's going on? Why on earth have they gathered the whole school to the main hall? This must be important." Harry said.

"Yeah." Naruto said. He thought back to what was said at the last meeting.

"Naruto, you okay? You've been really spaced out today." Ron commented.

"Oh, sorry. I've got a lot on mind, that's all."

Harry caught a glimpse of something on Naruto's waist.

"Is that a kunai pouch? How come they let you have a kunai pouch?"

"Uh...Well I've been learning Self defence for longer. I've earned it."

"Now McGonagall would you mind telling us what this is all about? I don't quite fancy being dragged out of a lesson unless it's something of great importance." Umbridge snooted.

"This is important...believe me..." McGonagall shakily replied. "You'll find out in time..."

Snape began to get slightly suspicious of the two.

'There's something wrong. Minnerva doesn't normally look so afraid_.'_

He then caught sight of something silver reflecting in his eye.

McGonagall stood up.

"I'm sure you're wondering why you're all here." She said in a shaky voice. "It's to inform you that…"

The doors burst open, and something flashed past the students and darted around the staff table. As it jumped, it slowed down, revealing itself as Kakashi, wearing his normal jounin attire but with black boots instead of sandals, as it was too cold for that. He charged towards Dumbledore and stabbed him in the shoulder with a kunai. Dumbledore winced, as another kunai skidded across the floor. Gasps and screams were heard as teachers and students pulled out their wands.

"Hatake, what's wrong with you? Have you gone mad?" Snape asked.

"So it's true. You are trying to kill me!" Harry stood up. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, kunai still in place

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Then why did you just stab Professor Dumbledore?"

"Because this isn't the real one." Kakashi replied.

"You have gone mad." Snape squinted.

"We'll see..." Kakashi smirked. "Now, mind showing us your true form?" Kakashi asked.

"I am Dumbledore." Dumbledore persisted. Kakashi pushed the kunai further into his shoulder. Dumbledore yelled in pain. "Alright, Alright! Just let me go first!" Kakashi smirked again, letting Dumbledore tumble to the ground, clutching his shoulder tightly. There was a puff of smoke, and a tall, thin, anonymous wizard emerged from it.

All wands in the room were now pointing at this mysterious wizard.

"So, that was a pretty unusual 'spell' there. How did you do it?" Kakashi asked.

The wizard laughed maniacally for a moment, before answering, "It's quite simple, once you learn how to perform wandless magic." Murmurs of 'wandless magic' filled the school. Kakashi stared at the wizard, blinked a few times then let out a single breath of laughter. The wizard became infuriated.

"You don't believe me? Then allow me to show you!" he began to perform a number of hand seals. _"Katon: Gokakyuu no jutsu!"_

A fireball (quite small compared to the ones usually performed by ninja) came rushing towards Kakashi, who soon became engulfed in the flame, causing many screams coming from the pupils. The flame died away, leaving only charred remains. The wizard smirked. "Let that be a lesson to you all. Now to get what I came here for…" He turned to face the Griffindor table. No one dared stop him. They were afraid he was too powerful for all of them.

"You're not taking me without a fight!" Harry stood pointing his wand at the wizard.

"You foolish boy. One day you will learn that not everything is about you." Harry stared, confused.

"B…But…Isn't it me you're after?" Harry asked.

"No."

"But…How?" he stared in shock.

"Oh, jealous, are we?" The wizard laughed.

"Jealous? Of who exactly?" Harry asked. The wizard jumped onto the Gryffindor table, walking slowly over to Harry. "Of your little blond friend, over there." He stopped infront of Naruto. "Uzumaki Naruto, I presume."

If Harry wasn't confused before, he was definitely confused now.

"But...I don't understand..." He drawled.

"You hold the power of the nine tails demon, do you not?"

"No, I get that, but why would Orochimaru want the kyuubi? The only explanation for that would be if...!" Naruto started to ramble.

"Silence! My master Voldemort said that he wanted you dead or alive, and to be honest..." he paused to smirk, "I think killing you would be much more interesting." he took out his wand, cackling manically, however abruptly stopped, collapsing to the floor, revealing Anko, standing behind him.

"He let his guard down..." Anko stared at the kunai sticking out of the recent corpse's back. "You alright?" Anko smiled.

"Me? I'm fine, what about you?" Naruto asked politely back.

"Great, thanks. Weather's not too good though." Anko pondered, "But I digress...Where's the other one?"

"The other one? Well Mi-chan's on an errand and Kakashi-sensei's...I don't know what happened to him."

"Didn't you see, he got burnt to ashes by a wizard who used wandless magic!" Hermione stared incredulously at Naruto, "He's...he's gone..." she looked down solemnly. They then heard another, deeper laugh, coming from the staff table. There they saw Kakashi sitting between McGonagall and Snape in brooding position. Snape and McGonagall jumped in surprise.

"Kakashi! We...we thought you were killed!"

"You think too much. That was just an illusion to see how much he knew about the technique he just permformed."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, with 'katon: gokakyuu no jutsu' what you produce not actually fire. It's just a ball of the user's energy that's made in the form of fire. If I actually charred the enemy I was aiming at, I would be quite worried."

"But...How do you know so much?" Snape eyed the silver-haired ninja(not that he knew Kakashi was a ninja).

"It doesn't matter. Neji, how are we doing?"

Neji looked around using his Byakugan. "There are enemies completely surounding the building, which poses a problem for Misaki: I bet she'll be trying to get back here soon. The only way she'll get in is through the-" A smash was heard, followed by some rocks falling from the ceiling. Everyone looked up to find a hand sticking out of the ceiling. The hand grabbed hold of part of the ceiling, ripping a chunk out of it. Misaki's head then popped out of the newly ripped out hole.

"Peekaboo." she smirked, lifting herself into the hole, and adjusting herself so that she was now standing on the ceiling, all in one swift movement. Neji sweatdropped, "Well that problem's sorted..."

"Sorry about the ceiling. It was the only way. I'll pay for all dameges. I have a lot of money" she smiled. The shinobi sweatdropped again.

'Why does she always go on about how much money she has?' was everyone's thought.

"For now though, let's focus on what Naruto was saying before. The only reason a wizard would want naruto is if not only Orochimaru, but the Akatsuki were in on this operation, making this the worst-case scenario." Kakashi looked down.

"So you think there's some kind of three-way deal?" Misaki inquired.

"We shall soon find out..."Kakashi seemed to be staring at a certain spot straight ahead. It became apparent why he was staring, as a black swirl appeared, with a violent wind coming out of it. Black smoke filled the room, causing many people to cough and shield their eyes. When they looked back, however, the saw a figure standing just behind the remaining smoke, revealing itself to be a man with chalky white skin and slits for a nose, wearing a black cloak. Most of the pupils and teachers were too shocked to speak, or even move.

"It's...He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" a student whispered. Kakashi narrowed his eyes.  
"They make you sound like a god," Kakashi spat out, "It's pitiful." Vordemort hissed, "Is it now?" his eyes wandered to the Boy Who Lived.  
"Long time no see, Potter." he smirked grimly.  
"Whatever you try to do to me, it's not going to work." Harry pointed his wand at Voldemort.  
"These years of being the Boy-who-lived must have gotten to your head. I'm afraid I'm not here for you, I'm here for another reason. But while I'm here..." He turned back to the silver-haired ninja,"I have a bone to pick with you. You agreed to help me assassinate Harry Potter and Dumbledore, yes?"  
"Correct." Kakashi nodded. The whole room stared in shock and fright. Snape froze in his seat, looking at Kakashi sitting next to him through the corner of his eye.  
'Him? Working for Voldemort? Is he a death-eater?'  
"So why hasn't he been killed yet?"  
Kakashi paused.  
"Sakura, take Harry and run." he turned to Sakura.  
"Me? Shouldn't I stay here incase any of you need healing?" she replied, slightly confused.  
"If Harry get's hurt, I need you to be immediately at his aid. I'll send Pakkun along to assist you."  
Sakura nodded.  
"Don't just ignore me!" Voldermort practically screamed, frightening all of the students. Sakura got up, ran over to Harry and grabbed his wrist.  
"Come with me." She said in a monotonous voice.  
"What? What are you going to do with me?" Harry asked. Sakura ignored him, dragging him out of his seat and out of the door.  
"There's an army of deatheaters heading to destroy the building just east of here." Neji informed.  
Misaki jumped down, soundlessly landing on the floor.  
"Shall I pursue them?" she tilted her head at Kakashi.  
"Take Naruto with you." he replied.  
Misaki placed a hand on Naruto's head. "Let's go." they both poofed away. No-one, at this stage, had a clue about what was going on.  
Ron, gathering up some courage, decided to speak, "Kakashi, where has Sakura taken Harry?"  
Kakashi let a smiled grimly, "You don't have to worry. Everybody here will be safe." This worried Ron.  
'I don't trust him. Why isn't he giving me a straight answer?'  
Voldemort had finally lost his patience. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I knew you would do something like this, that's why I hired two of your enemies to make sure if you didn't do the job properly, they would!" Voldemort said. Kakashi's smile gradually faded.  
'He hired both Orochimaru and the Akatsuki? He's making this way easier than it's supposed to be!' He looked at the clock. It was 4pm.  
'And it's four o'clock. I don't want to be late.'  
"Kakashi Hatake, you'll learn after I'm done with you, that you never doublecross me." Voldemort said in a dark tone.  
"Thanks but no thanks." he said, jumping back.  
"What?" Voldemort said astonished.  
"I'm sorry to have to leave so early, but quite frankly, I've better things to do with my time than feel your wrath. We'll catch up later, but for now you'll just have to make do with Lee and Neji." he smirked, fazing into the wall behind him.  
"HATAKE!" Voldemort screamed. He then heard soft footsteps land behind him. He turned, and a huge juggernaut of a force hit his face, throwing him towards the wall to his left, and smashing him through it, sending him flying for ages.  
"Forget about Kakashi: I'm your opponent now."

* * *

**A/N: Let me guess, you are SO confused right now, huh? Don't worry, everything will be explained in time, just keep reading!**


	18. Showdown round 1

Chapter 18 - **Showdown - round 1  
**

**A/N:**** I suck at fight scenes... .**

"You're my opponent now." Lee stood in his signature fighting stance.

Voldemort stared in awe. No one had ever had the nerve to challenge him like that before. What made it even worse was the fact that they were only children. Well, they were foolish to do so, and now they would pay, he thought.

* * *

"Where are you taking me again?" Harry asked, slightly ticked off.

"I didn't say." Sakura replied, without stopping.

"Well why don't you tell me now?" Harry was beginning to get thoroughly irritated. "Are you with Voldemort too? Are you a deatheater with Kakashi?"

"Listen, you ought to trust me. I'm not a deatheater, and neither is Kakai-sensei...and if he is, it's the first time I've ever heard about it."

"But then why was Voldemort going on about how he agreed to kill me? And what about his eye? And this dream I had..." Harry began to ramble.

"Listen, like I said, don't know about any of that." Sakura interrupted. Harry then noticed them approaching the Forbidden Forest.

"The Forbidden Forest? Okay now I demand some answers! Did you even bring a wand??" Harry asked, shocked at what he had just noticed.

"No. I have other ways." Sakura leaped from the ground she was on, onto a tree branch, taking Harry along with her. He slipped off the tree, but Sakura caught him just in time, bringing him back. "I do the jumping, you just have to try and land properly, okay?" Harry nodded.

"Hey, wait up!" They heard a voice.

* * *

Anko stood on the rooftop, examining the bodies of deatheaters lying around her. "I think that's the last of them. Now to find something else to do."

"I think you missed one out." A voice came from behind her. She turned abruptly, then felt a sharp pain on her neck. She clutched her shoulder tightly. "It couldn't be...Orochimaru?" she whispered to herself. A snake then came out of the ground, wrapping itself around her leg. Another one then came, digging it's fangs into her ankle so that she couldn't move.

"Shit, I got distracted..."

"You know, I really thought you'd put up more of a fight than this," Orochimaru appeared in front of her, "But I guess this still is only the begining." He took a kunai out, and prepared to throw it. "Shame." He smirked, throwing the kunai, it striking directly through Anko's heart. She then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

'Or maybe I was wrong.' Orochimaru thought.

"I'm offended." A voice said coming from above. It was Anko. Orochimaru dodged just before Anko delivered a powerful punch to the ground.

"I thought your opinion of me was higher." she smirked.

* * *

Kakashi stood in the middle of the forest, eyeing the orange-masked figure standing only about a metre infront of him.

"Thankyou for coming." Tobi said rather plainly.

"Don't mention it. I'd love to ask you something right now." Kakashi inconspicuously eyed Tobi, wondering what this was all about.

"Feel free to ask any questions you want, before we begin."

"Begin what?" Kakashi asked, puzzled.

"The test, of course." Tobi said in a cheery voice. Kakashi paused.

"Okay, I'm slightly confused, but I'm just going to ignore that and fight you now..." Kakashi got into a defensive stance.

"Well that _was_ the idea."

"What?" Kakashi looked down, finding an explosive note by his feet. It combusted, starting an explosion that destroyed trees standing about 60 metres away from the core of the explosion, and leaving a massive crater in the ground. Kakashi crouched on a tree just outside of the explosion, with his eyepatch off and a slightly dark, grim expression on his face.

"I see. So that's how it is. I didn't even notice him ever placing the kunai there...unless he hid it with a genjutsu, but why would he do that?" He stared at Tobi, still standing in the middle of the crater. 'Has he not moved even during the explosion?' Kakashi shook his head. 'No. That's not possible. He would have been blown to pieces, no matter how powerful he is. Unless he used a kage bunshin after the explosion to mess with my head. So then, where's the real one?'

Tobi slowly turned his head to face Kakashi. Kakashi drew a sharp intake of breath as he made eye contact with Tobi's cold stare. Tobi almost whispered, "Katon: Gokyakyuu no jutsu..."

Kakashi's eyes widened. A look of shock graced his face. He turned around to find Tobi crouched a few trees behind him. The next thing he saw was a giant fireball hurtling towards him. He fell forwards, rotating around the branch before jumping off onto the ground. Tobi followed him down, taking out a katana, and attempted a strike as Kakashi landed on the ground. Kakashi dodged this by jumping into the air again, Tobi following, and took out a kunai just before he blocked Tobi's next attack.

"You can't hide from me, Hatake. I can sense your sharingan from a mile off." Kakashi felt a sudden surge of chakra force him to the ground, raising many leaves and dust. Tobi waited until the dust had cleared, before finding that Kakashi had disappeared, and that there was a small mound of dirt on the ground. Tobi stood staring at the mound for a few seconds.

"Hehe, You're a crafty so and so, Hatake-san."

* * *

"Approximately...100...150...20..."

"Say, why are we actually counting, Mi-chan?" Naruto asked.

"Not for any paticular reason. just counting the corpses we'll have to get rid of later." Misaki said, eyes fixed on the wizards below the tree they were sitting under.

"Wow, Misaki, you really are dark on the inside aren't you?"

"We'll talk later. For now, we fight." a ball of black, visible chakra formed between Misaki's hands, which she formed into a katana. Naruto stared in awe as she jumped down from the tree, landng on a wizard. Naruto then realized that he was supposed to be helping, and followed her down.

**A/N: ****So that's the end of chapter 18. Can you dig it?**


	19. Showdown round 2

**A/N:****The following scene mostly consists of fighting. Those who do not like violence or just find fight scenes boring, WHY THE HECK ARE YOU READING THIS FANIC?!**

**disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter.**

Chapter 19 - **Showdown : round 2**

**Kakashi vs Tobi**

Kakashi's hand emerged from the ground a distance from where Tobi was. he pulled himself out of the ground, got up and tied his forehead protector around his head.

"It's true my sharingan emits way more chakra than it's supposed to, so it'll be easy to track me. However, this should buy me enough time to get my bearings." Kakashi sensed a surge of chakra flowing through the ground.

"Don't tell me, he used my dirt path to find out where I was?" He jumped out of the way as Tobi punched his way out of the ground.

"Though I'm not surprised," Kakashi mumbled. He did a forward flip before landing on the ground. Tobi sent more fireballs in Kakashi's direction, Kakashi dodging them one by one, then made several kage bunshins and surrounded Kakashi with them.

'Four Tobis? I can't even land a hit on one of them!' Kakashi thought, 'At this rate I should focus more on staying alive rather than defeating him.'

A bunshin leaped at Kakashi, aiming a slice at his shoulder. Kakashi blocked the hit wth his kunai, then noticed another coming from behind at an alarming speed. He took out another kunai with his other hand, blocking both hits. Kakashi cut his hands slightly from the blades sliding together, since the kunai was so short, it didn't really fare well against a sword. One more came from the side. Kakashi ducked as the doppelganger sliced above Kakashi's head, ignoring the other two bunshin as he sliced through both of them. Kakashi jumped out of the way just before Tobi made another vertical slice.

He was about to land, before yet another Tobi appeared in the spot he was going to land in.

'Great, they're everywhere!'

**"RAIKIRI!"** Kakashi yelled as he came down towards Tobi, who raised his katana horizontally above him in defence. Kakashi's feet landed on the blade. He terminated the Raikiri and instead formed a ball of wind chakra in his hand and placed it against Tobi's face. **"Rasengan."** He jumped off the blade, aided by the spring from the technique he'd just used, as Tobi fell backwards, flailing his arms in a parculiar motion. Kakashi landed on the trunk of a tree, and repeated bouncing off different tree trunks until he landed on a high branch. He scanned the area, looking to see where Tobi had gone.

'Oh great. Where's he gone now?' The next thing he saw was an array of weapons heading straight towards him. He dodged the attack by jumping to a nearby branch, only to be harrassed by several fireballs charging towards him. He swung from the branch onto yet another one as the branch he was previously on caught fire. He had only just noticed the warm trickle of blood running down the side of his face from when he must have failed to dodge one of the weapons. Three kunai and two shuriken then silently made their way towards him from behind. Kakashi was fortunate enough to notice, and rotated around the branch so that he was now upside down. It was then that he noticed that the kunai had explosive notes attached to them.

"Shit!" He jumped down from the branch about a millisecond before it exploded. He then caught a glimpse of Tobi, and fired three shuriken his way. He then saw something bright red and flashing. Suddenly all surroundings turned black.

"What the heck...This must be a genjutsu...I'm guessing he used his sharingan ability but from so far a distance that I wouldn't know and be ready for it."

He felt a sudden pain on his head as the surroundings returned to normal, and he found himself collapsed on the floor. He immediately got up.

'I forgot I was falling...That's most likely what that bump was all about.' He rubbed his head and then returned to his defensive stance.

'What has he done...Well, whatever it is, I'd best be on my guar-' **(A/N:Any Kakashi fans who don't like Kakashi being beaten up ruthlessly and severely by an invisible enemy LOOK AWAY NOW!!)**

Kakashi suddenly felt the pain of a fist punching him in the lower jaw, throwing him to the ground. However, when he looked, he saw no one there. He tried to get up, but then felt a kick towards the face, and then another punch to his right eye, meaning he ended up just getting thrown the other way. Blood now fell from his mouth and stained the grass that he was lying on.

'Note to self: Never bite tongue while being hit.' He stood up and examined his surroundings.

'That's strange...The forest looks somehow different to before. it would seem as if everything's been shifted slightly. Maybe I can release it...'

he formed a tiger seal with his hands. "**Kai!"**

...

'It didn't work.' Kakashi sweatdropped. He then heard the sound of footsteps coming closer behind him. He turned and tried to hit whatever was behind him, however ended up being punched again by a fist coming from his right.

'Well this is annoying. So, Tobi's managed to warp everything, so that not only is he invisible to me, but put quite frankly, he's rendered my other four senses utterly useless. So how has he done it?' He felt another kick to the head.

'Most annoying is I can't do anything until I've figured out what's happening. Has he got Ashiko(1) on his feet or something?' He wiped away the patch of blood on his forehead, a futile action as he was just kicked in the same place again.

'Ok now he's just taking the mick.'

The next attack, Kakashi found himself being bitch-slapped to the floor. 'This is just embarrasing...' Thought Kakashi.

"Really, for a Hatake, I thought you would have a little more fight in you. Surely you haven't given up already?" Tobi's voice echoed throughout the forest. Kakashi just ignored him for now. He stayed lying on the ground, staring intently at a tree.

'So, that's how he does it. Well let's test this theory out.' He stood up.

"I haven't given up. I don't feel it necessary to fight you when I don't even know where you are. There's no use flailing around the place unless I have a specific target, otherwise that's just wasting chakra, which I'm sure you know I don't have a lot of." He reached into his utility pouch, and grabbed two smoke bombs with a talisman on the end of it.

'This only works with this particular type of genjutsu, so let's hope I'm right.' He threw one smoke bomb at either side of the tree. One missed and went straight through the tree, however the smoke bomb to the right hit something. Kakashi covered his right eye and stared intently at the tree with his sharingan.

"**REVEAL!" **Smoke filled that part of the forest. The tree disappeared and appeared again, but about a metre and a half to the right.

"So, Madara, you used a displacement technique. How clever of you." Kakashi smirked

'So not only is he invisible, but the displacement technique meant that I couldn't rely on my other senses.'

"And you still can't." Tobi appeared for a second behind Kakashi. Swapping his katana for a pair of spiked damascus knuckles, he disappeared again, though his footsteps could be heard by Kakashi. He turned to face the footsteps, then jumped to the right, and readied his kunai, bringing his hand up and blocking his attack with the kunai. Kakashi then ducked down and stabbed Tobi in the stomach, causing him to become visible. Tobi winced and made an annoyed grunting sound. Kakashi then felt the sharp pain of a kunai under his shoulder blade. Tobi smirked, his knee delivering a painful blow to Kakashi's jaw, sending him upwards. Tobi then returned to using his sword, ready to stab Kakashi. He thrust his arm forward, and Kakashi dodged just enough so that the katana missed any vital organs, however, it still went through him. Before Tobi was able to take the blade out of his body, Kakashi generated a raikiri, and slashed through the blade -as he wanted to keep the amount of bleeding to the minimum- then tumbled backwards and lay on the forest floor panting rapidly.

"Shit...I forgot...about the kage...kage buunshins." Kakashi whispered

Tobi walked up to Kakashi and stopped beside him, rolling Kakashi onto his stomach with his foot.Tobi noticed his arm going for his kunai pouch, then decided to hold his arm in place by treading on it. Kakashi winced, and maybe even squealed slightly at the pain of the ashiko on his foot making a couple of holes in his arm. Tobi, after he was satisfied with the amount of suffering he was causing Kakashi, walked away in the same direction before stopping and turning to Kakashi again. The two kage bunshin made themselves visible, standing on either side of Kakashi. They picked him up by his arms and dragged him to where Tobi was standing.

"Madara...I wanted to ask you something before-" Kakashi was cut off by Tobi.

"And I rudely interrupted you by attacking you. My apologies. Feel free to ask now." Tobi looked down at Kakashi's hanging head, only able to see his hair.

"What do you want from me?"

"Oh." Tobi looked somewhat surprised and disapproving. "How cliche."

"Just answer the question before my arms fall off, thanks."

"Well I want many things from you..." Tobi began, "Most of all, though, I want...**(A/N-This sounds really bad, doesn't it? OO)**" he crouched down to get a better look of Kakashi's face. It didn't really work though. "I want that beautiful sharingan you stole from the Uchiha clan." Tobi brought Kakashi's chin up so he could inspect his left eye, but found a blank note stuck to his head band covering it. Tobi stared it, slightly puzzled.

"E...eh-Kakashi, why have you got a note stuck to your forehead?" Tobi asked. Kakashi looked at Tobi, said nothing but just grinned. Tobi then spotted the random button in Kakashi's hand. Kakashi pressed it, and the note revealed itself to be an explosive tag.

"Oh shit." Tobi muttered before it ignited. He tried to get away but the explosion happened much to fast. he was caught in it.

**A/N:- So, that's the Kakashi Tobi fight. So, what was that all about eh? Did Tobi survive the blast? The only way to find out is to read on!!**


	20. Showdown round 3

Chapter 20 - **Showdown: round 3**

"Hey! Wait up." Sakura and Harry heard a voice coming from behind. They then saw a small pug come towards them.

"Pakkun!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Eh, long time no see, Sakura." The dog said. Harry was so shocked he nearly fell off the branch again.

"The dog can TALK?" Harry yelled.

"I thought the same thing at first. Pakkun?"

"Erm, yes. Kakashi told me to assist you while looking for Voldemort's base." Pakkun stated.

"We're going to Voldemort's base?! Why on earth would we do that? It's full of hundreds of deatheaters, and there are only two of us! You ARE trying to kill me, aren't you?" Harry yelled again.

"Calm, Harry. Most of the deatheaters are elsewhere, where Misaki and Naruto are taking care of them. Anyway if we don't go to the base where Dumbledore is being held, then how are we suposed to rescue him?" Sakura asked. Harry looked surprised.

"That's where we're going? To rescue Dumbledore? Well why didn't you say? Let's get moving!" Harry's sudden change of attitude startled Sakura and Pakkun, but they recovered. Sakura smiled and nodded.

"Pakkun." Pakkun nodded.

"To Voldemort's base!" Pakkun sniffed around for a while then jumped ahead of them, and then they continued.

"But, Sakura, I still have a few questions that I need answered...Like...well what's up with this whole thing anyway? Kakashi being so rude to Voldemort, Misaki standing on the ceiling, you jumping on trees, a talking dog? I really need some answers now, Sakura."

"It's hard to explain...but I'll try to put it as simply as I can. We're not wizards. We were never wizards. We were hired by Dumbledore to protect you and Hogwarts, and to find out more about Voldemort. We'd been sneaking out while you were asleep, but once you almost caught us. Luckily Kashi-sensei hypnotised you, so..."

"Wha...so you mean all of that was real??" Harry asked shocked.

"Yes."

"And his eye?"

"Yes. The sharingan. It's an inherited ability that only the Uchiha family are suposed to posess, which is only two people since the masscre...But...for some reason, Kashi-sensei seems to have it...and he's a Hatake. Maybe from surgery..." Sakura rambled on. Harry felt betrayed. He felt like he didn't know anything about Sakura...or anyone anymore. He was also angry, but his depression overruled that. Was everything she had told him a lie?

"You're upset." Sakura said.

"Gee, you don't say." Harry retorted sarcastically.

"I can understand that. But we really need you to trust us. For your sake and ours." Sakura continued.

"So if you're not wizards, then what are you?" Harry asked.

"We're ninja." Sakura bluntly replied.

Harry looked surprised at first, but then looked down at the ground in a disapproving manner. "Fine then, don't tell me."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tobi lay on the ground, burnt from top to toe. He slowly got up and looked around before yelling. "THAT F***ING HURT, HATAKE!" He stumbled for a second then corrected his posture.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT ONCE I FIND YOU!" He started demolishing literally everything in the forest. Kakashi stared wide-eyed at Tobi from behind a tree.

'Shit, this is bad, really bad. How the heck am I supposed to defeat him now?! He's stronger than me, faster than me, his sharingan is better than mine...' He stared at Tobi, who had performed katon: karyuu endan, setting the forest on fire and was on the verge of destroying the whole forest.

"I didn't know he'd be that angry. I guess being as powerful as he is he doesn't get blown up all that often. He's coming this way aswell, I better think fast." Kakashi muttered to himself.

'It's no use trying to use such a weak sharingan against him. Right now it's just using up chakra that I just don't have....He's getting closer...' He looked down at the sheathed blade on his person and clutched the handle.

'Looks like I'm going to have to use this then.'

Tobi stopped dead in his tracks, and looked to the side.

"Found you..." Tobi uttered.

Tobi disappeared and then reappeared infront of Kakashi.

'Though, if he's in a blind rage, my plan will work much better.' Kakashi smirked and ducked as Tobi attempted a kick to the head, hitting the tree behind Kakashi instead. Kakashi did several flips sideways landing in a crouch. He drew out his sword, the blade emmitting a briliant white light. He stood up. "Well? I thought you were more eager to fight me than that." He smirked. Tobi grunted.

"I was, before. Now, I'm just eager to kill you." Tobi charged at Kakashi, who seemed at the moment to be slashing the air randomly. Tobi didn't question this though: he just wasn't interested. He flew towards Kakashi, and drew his katana ready to attack. He made an attack towards the throat but Kakashi had blocked the hit with his own blade. he then jumped back. Tobi followed, attempting several slashes, Kakashi blocking all of these, then jumping back again, by several metres. Tobi charged at Kakashi yet again, while Kakashi performed a few handsigns. Tobi lifted his katana, sure that this time, he would make a hit. He was about a metre away from Kakashi, when he felt a sudden pain all over his body, as if he had just suffered twenty hits in that split second. He immediately keeled over, unable to move for a while, because of the shock.

"Hatake...What did you do?" Tobi panted.

"It's hard to explain, but if you could just look behind you..." Kakashi said calmly, wiping his blood-soaked hair off his face. Tobi appeareed a little skeptical at first, then eventually turned to look behind him.

"This...This is..." his eys grew wide as he saw the path of Kakashi's blade illuminated in a bright white light.

"This is a technique I have recently developed. I can't rely on the sharingan all the time, after all. The white light shows where my blade has been since it was drawn. Every time you ran through it, you were suffering a hit from my blade, you just hadn't noticed it until I used my jutsu. It's a bit like...I've hit you before you've been hit. That's why it's called '_sori no toki no jutsu'_."

"But," Tobi began, "How...I thought the White Light Sabre was destroyed years ago!"

"So did I. But then I realized something my father had been keeping from me and everyone for a very long time. It's not the sword, it's my ability, my bloodline limit."

"I see. A very impressive one at that, but still not enough to get rid of me!" Tobi tried to slice at Kakashi, but he dodged the attack by jumping back.

"I guess I'll just have to finish this the way I finished Zabuza then." Kakashi formed a few handsigns, then pressed his hand to the ground. Tobi launched himself at Kakashi, but before he was even able to draw his sword, he felt fangs digging into his feet. He looked down to find two dogs holding him down. Even more dogs emerged from the ground and restricted his movement further.

**"Raikiri!" **Kakashi was now charging at Tobi, the sound of a thousand birds accompanying his attack.

'Well...There's nothing more I can do.' he thought as he felt Kakashi's hand plunge into his body and out the other side. Tobi flopped lifelessly on Kakashi's arm. Kakashi straightened his arm and brought it to his side, letting Tobi slide off onto the floor, Kakashi watching as he did this.

"He's dead? After all that?" Kakashi said, as he stared at the body for a few minutes.

"Not quite." Tobi's eyes shot open. Before Kakashi knew it he was pinned against a tree, Tobi's hand crushing his throat.

"You thought it was that easy, did you?" Tobi smirked, amused by Kakashi's wide-eyed expression of fear and shock.

"Well it isn't. it takes a lot more to defeat a life force as powerful as mine!" Tobi cackled.

"Allow me to show you the true meaning of power."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You're late." Anko hissed at the perverted sage, who had just appeared.

"Oh, so you'll be joining us, will you?" Orochimaru smiled grimly. "This will be even more interesting than I anticipated. Please don't disappoint me."

Anko smirked. "Back atcha." Anko ran at Orochimaru, throwing a shuriken in his direction.

"Shuriken, kage buunshin." Orochimaru muttered. The shuriken multiplied so that there were now about fifty of them. Suddenly, the shuriken changed direction so that they were now heading for Jiraiya and Anko.

"Damn!" Anko jumped back. The two managed to dodge the shuriken and catch the ones that were unavoidable. Orochimaru then jumped up in the air ready for his next attack. He opened his mouth wide. his tongue transformed into a huge snake, headed for Anko and Jiraiya. Anko lifted her arms, as snakes shot out of her sleeves and wound themselves round Orochimaru's tongue, pulling him through the air and down on the floor with a loud thud.

Jiraiya charged at Orochimaru, who was quick to recover, throwing three kunai at Jiraiya, who dodged them easily. Orochimaru attempted a spinning kick to the face, which Jiraiya blocked. Jiraiya tried punching, but Orochimaru dodged, caught hold of his fist and kicked him in the stomach. Jiraiya managed to free himself and do a crouching spinning kick, tripping Orochimaru up. Orochimaru however landed on his hands and was able to flip backwards, back onto his feet.

Anko then appeared behind him, flipped over him so that she was facing him and punched him in the stomach, causing Orochimaru to double over in pain. She tried to knee him in the face, but his hands blocked her attack. Orochimaru jumped back so that he could compose himself. He then opened his mouth wide again as a snake made its way up his throat and proceeded to regurgitate a sword, which Orochimaru took out for use. He then saw Anko charging towards him again. He sliced horizontally, however Anko ducked, avoiding the attack. Anko jumped out of the way of Jiraiya's flying kick that was directed towards Orochimaru. Orochimaru however used his snake-ish tongue to grab hold of his foot and flung him a few yards. Jiraiya did a few flips, landing on his feet. He formed a few hand seals, before yelling, "Katon: Karyuu Endan!" A huge flaming missile hurtled towards Orochimaru, who seemed to get caught in the flames, however a great wall of water suddenly rose up, dousing the flames, and creating a huge, deep puddle on the roof of the building. Anko attacked Orochimaru with several of her snakes, Orochimaru either dodging them or blocking them.

"Stand back, Anko." Jiraiya called out. Anko obeyed, jumping back as Jiraiya created two Rasengan, one in each hand. He brought his hands agaist the water, causing it to violently spiral in random directions. A huge wave was then formed, towering over Orochimaru. Orochimaru tried to escape, but te wave was far too big to do anything. The wave landed directly ontop of Orochimaru, who was unable to get back to the surface due to the force of the wave.

"That was close, ne, Ero-sennin?" Anko smirked. Jiraiya grimaced.

"I'm not quite done yet." A voice came from above. The two looked up to find Orochimaru above them. He threw several shuriken their way. They dodged just in time. Jiraiya then summoned a giant frog. Orochimaru charged towards Jiraiya, but the toad came from behind, smashing him to the ground. He quickly recovered, trying to land a kick on the toad, however the toad grabbed hold of his foot and flung him into the air. Orochimaru however managed to flip sideways and land on the wall of a higher building.

Anko then forward flipped towards Orochimaru, jumped up doing a backwards flip. A snake darted out of her sleeve, straight for Orochimaru. Orochimaru backflipped twice, smirking at Anko. Anko used her snakes to pull her back down to the ground. Jiraiya summoned a staff, and attempted many hits on Orochimaru, who blocked them with his sword. Jiraiya tried to attack Orochimaru's legs, however Orochimaru avoided this by jumping up and pushing off the wall of the higher building.

"Using the Sandaime's techniques I see." Orochimaru smirked, while stll in mid air.

Anko sent one more snake his way. It seemed like there was no way he could miss it, but right at the last moment he did a backflip onto the ground. Jiraiya attempted several more hits on Orochimaru, but he dodged every one of them. Orochimaru then ran over to Jiraiya, and punched him in the lower jaw, but Jiraiya managed to plant an explosive note on his leg before he fell. Orochimaru smirked, ready for a next attack before the note exploded, causing a violent explosion. There was smoke for a few minutes, but as it cleared Anko and Jiraiya saw Orochimaru on his back, with his leg severely injured. Anko walked up to him, bent down and grabbed him by the shirt.

"What don't tell me you used me, tossed me aside and didn't expect me to get my own back." Anko smirked.

"I don't need anyone but the best on my team. You were just handy at the time, to try out my experiments, etc. Afterwards, you were nothing but garbage to me. I don't need garbage on my team." Orochimaru hissed. Anko's face immediately fell.

"You bastard."she said in a low, almost whisperng voice. "You deserve what's coming to you."

Two snakes slithered their way out of Anko's sleeves and wrapped themselves round Orochimaru's neck. Orochimaru scowled in pain, before smirking.

"It's not that simple." Orochimaru's figure suddenly turned into mud and slipped out of Anko's grasp, falling in a puddle round her.

Anko stared for a while. She looked in shock at the mud on her hands. A drop of water landed on her muddy hands, making her look up before another drop landed on her nose. It soon began to pour with rain. Jiraiya held his hands out, closing his eyes as the rain washed some of the blood off his hands.

"Well we didn't kill him, but at least the school's safe now." Jiraiya smiled. Anko's eyes then darted quickly from the grey sky to the mud that was now being washed away by the rain. She stared wide-eyed, as she pressed her hands against the muddy roof.

"He got away...He got away..." she repetedly whispered through clenched teeth.

"My childhood, my dreams..." she grabbed a fistful of dirt.

"I've waited so long for this moment!" she yelled, "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING!?" she started violently punching the ground, so hard until her fists started bleeding excesively. Jiraiya ran up to Anko and grabbed her wrists to stop her from harming herself.

"Anko what the heck?"

"I wanted to pay him back for what he did to me. But I guess, whatever I do, nothing will wipe the smirk of his face." Anko mumbled. Jiraiya loosened his grip on her hands slightly.

"Well, let's get back to the school. We can sort your hands out there."

* * *

**A/N: ****Oh my gosh, what a terribly written chapter. Sorry I deserted you guys for so long. I got the ol' writer's block. Sucks when you get that, doesn't it?**


End file.
